Mansions, Yachts, and Gardens: Hand Selecting Your Reception Services
Okay, so you're the type of woman who shudders at the idea of a package plan ... It all began when you were seven and your silly cousin Myrtle wanted you to be her flower girl. Oh, that awful Little Bo-Peep dress! All you can remember about the reception is a sea of relatives' faces gnawing on assembly line chicken in a room without windows... and that band leader in the crushed velvet tuxedo! Well, that all may have been Myrtle's idea of bliss, but it's not yours! You want your wedding to be outdoors — unique — you want to be in charge! You and only you will hand pick the caterer, the music, the photographer, the limousine, the cake, and the florist.
If you believe the only way a thing can be done right is to do it yourself, then this is the post for you.
A hotel is by far the most convenient place to hold your wedding reception. Aside from the obvious food and beverage services they supply, hotels also offer overnight accommodations for the ease and comfort of your out-of-town guests. But if you reside in an area where historical homes, gardens, yachts, and museums rent out space for social functions, you may find such romantic surroundings more to your liking. Just keep in mind that you will have to be responsible for all aspects of your reception. But if you're patient, practical, and above all, organized, you should have no problem.
First, get yourself a notebook - preferably one with divider sections. Keep notes on everything and transfer important memos, such as deposits due and deadlines for decision-making, etc., to a calendar that you look at every day.
Make an appointment at each location that interests you. Each facility will have its own explicit set of rules pertaining to the use of the property. Most historic homes limit guest space to the first floor and grounds. And in many cases you will be required to provide a tent, regardless of what the weather reports promise for your wedding day.
Don't necessarily shy away from those places that insist on your using a caterer from their listings. At least you will be assured of contracting with a company that is familiar and comfortable with the working conditions of that particular property. And this saves you hours of phone calls and complicated guesswork.
Just make positively sure that you understand everything about the location you are considering for your wedding reception before going one step further. Will they allow the type of music you intend to have? Is smoking permitted anywhere on the grounds? Are food and drink restricted anywhere? If the facility limits your use to the first floor and grounds, make sure that your maximum number of guests will be comfortable indoors if it is raining on your wedding day. (The same applies to charter ships and yachts!) Is the facility air-conditioned? Is there good ventilation? And most important, do you have exclusive use of the property, or at least private use of a secluded area? Think carefully of all the questions that pertain to your wedding, and don't be afraid to ask them! Unlike the hotels in your area, these historical and specialty locations will be charging you a rental fee above and beyond all your other costs, so you must be perfectly content to follow their restrictions.
Caterers
Interview each caterer on your list. If the facility has no particular restrictions on whom you hire, you may still wish to get their suggestions on the best caterers they have worked with there.
Obtain all the menus you can, being sure to ask the following questions:
1. Is there a rental fee for equipment, above and beyond the cost of meals?
2. What is the condition and appearance of the equipment? Are ' the chafing trays plain or enhanced by a rococo design? (Plain
chafing trays will remind you of your high school cafeteria. The ones with a rococo design — that is, with scrolled embellishments on the legs and handle — are far more suitable for wedding banquets.)
3. Is real silver and glassware used?
4. What color table linen is provided? Are the napkins cloth or paper? Will the chairs be padded, or just regular folding chairs?
5. How many guests are seated comfortably per table?
6. What is the ratio of waitstaff to guests? What will the waitstaff's attire be?
7. Are all applicable taxes and gratuities included in the quoted prices? Are there any additional setup fees or charges?
8. When is the first deposit due, and how much is it? When and how must the balance be paid? (That is, can you pay by personal check or credit card, or must you get a certified bank check?)
9. What is the policy for overtime?
10. What is the cancellation policy? (Make sure you fully understand what happens to your deposit money!) Ask if you . can view the caterer's setup before the next scheduled party at that facility. You will want to be there approximately 40 minutes before the arrival of guests.
Bar Service
If the caterer provides bar service, get a printed list of all the possible ways you can host an open bar for part or all of your reception. Remember that "portable" bars are limited in stock space, so if you know of any preferences you or your guests may have, inquire about their availability now. You will also need a wedding toast, so get prices for wine and champagne.
You can also provide your own bar service (if the facility allows). It's not as difficult as you may think, and definitely saves' you money.
Ask the caterer if bartenders are available for hourly hire. If so, make sure that this includes all setups such as glasses, stirrers, bottle pourers, ice, fruit slices, etc. Most, if not all, caterers have bartender connections. But if the only way the caterer of your choice will provide you with a bartender is if they also provide the liquor service, don't give in just yet. If you know a bartender, either as a personal friend or by frequenting a favorite restaurant or club, begin there. Sooner or later the right person will show! (Just remember that if you provide your own bartender, ask that person for a list of all the basic bar supplies that will be needed.)
To calculate your bar stock provisions, estimate six drinks per person for an evening reception. Not everyone will consume six drinks, of course, but you will want to be fully prepared. Deal only with a liquor store that accepts returns on unopened bottles. You will need one full liter for every 20 drinks poured. The manager of the liquor store will most assuredly assist you with all your needs if you ask. Having a good idea of the "age groups" attending your wedding will also help the manager in making suggestions about what you may need. And don't forget any special request items! You will also need mixers, juices, and sodas for those who do not drink alcohol.
When ordering your champagne toast, figure each bottle to provide eight to ten toasts. For wine, just order a larger quantity of what you will be offering at your bar, or provide each guest table with one nice bottle of wine designated for the toast.
It will be an immense help to assign someone to take charge of the liquor arrangements. This person should bring all beverages to the site and be responsible for explaining to the bartender that bottles should be opened only as needed. Then, at the end of the evening, this volunteer should gather up all bottles, separating the opened and unopened ones into different boxes. Unopened beverages should be returned to the liquor store for credit. And the partially full bottles can go wherever you designate. (Perhaps your parents' house?)
It may sound like a lot of work. But it will save you approximately half a standard bar bill! And with such savings, you might see your way clear to host an open bar for your whole reception.
What to Do When the Stage Is Set But You Don't Have All the Players
Finding the Right Band or DJ
Music is so important. It sets the tone and pace of your reception as no other aspect of your wedding day can do. The room can be dazzling, the food spectacular. But if the band is boring, you may find your guests sneaking off not long after coffee.
Decide first what type of music you would like to hear. The best bands out there can appeal to any age group and are willing to learn special songs when given adequate time. DJs have a wealth of music at their fingertips. Now, it's true that DJs were once disdained as not being "good enough" for weddings. But since those early days of record spinning, disc jockeys have become much more sophisticated emcees. You can now choose with confidence.
Begin by asking friends and family if they have any recommendations based on your preferences. Be sure to inquire at the facility where your wedding reception is to be held, for they will have seen many bands and DJs over the course of time. Often these performers have supplied the facility with a video for prospective clients to view. Just be courteous in returning the tape promptly.
When calling any prospects, find out if you are speaking to the band leader/manager, DJ, or a representative of an agency. Mention who has referred you and ask if they're available on your day, date, and time, making note of your reception location. If you are speaking with an agency, be sure to give the name of the DJ, band, or bands that have been recommended to you.
If all is clear, proceed with the following questions:
1. What is the fee, and how many hours are included?
2. What instruments are played (bands only)?
3. How many members in the group? (If DJ: Does he or she bring an assistant?) How many sing? Is there a male and a female vocalist?
4. Roughly how many wedding receptions has this band or DJ emceed?
5. What would their attire be?
6. How many breaks will be taken? Will these breaks be coordinated with your reception activities? Will prerecorded music be played during breaks?
7. Is there a videocassette or audiocassette available for your consideration?
8. Will they learn any specific music if you supply the sheet music in ample time (bands only)?
9. What happens if the DJ or any member of the band becomes ill or has a personal emergency on your wedding day?
10. What is their policy and fee for possible overtime?
11. What deposit is required, and when is the final payment due?
12. What is the cancellation policy?
13. Where can the band or the DJ be seen performing live? Will this be a wedding reception or nightclub date?
14. Would it be possible to put a tentative hold on their services until you hear them, either by live performance or video?
Call as many bands or DJs as interest you, and do your utmost to make your final decision as soon as possible. After all, you don't want to lose the best music you heard to another bride. And if you're getting married at a popular time of year, it could very easily happen!
Just beware of hiring musicians that have never emceed a wedding. Oh, they might play the best dance music you've ever heard, but who is going to announce the bridal party into the reception? Who is going to tell the best man when to give the toast, or command respectful silence when your clergy gives the blessing? You may know when to come out to the floor for your first dance, but who is going to gather all the single ladies for the bouquet toss, or encourage all the other fun aspects of your wedding reception?
Choose wisely. But choose soon!
Photography and Videography
For anniversaries and special occasions in the years to come, your wedding pictures will help you relive the memories of the most special day of your life. They are a legacy of your love, to be passed down to future generations. They are not to be trusted to just any studio or freelancer.
If you aren't fortunate enough to have a friend or relative in the profession of taking pictures, you will have to determine who is best for your budget and your needs. A "production house" studio, or a freelance artist? Both have their pluses and minuses.
A commercial photography studio will most likely be able to accommodate your wedding needs even when you have called a mere three weeks in advance. Why? Because large studio outfits employ dozens of photographers. Every one of these photographers has been trained to work the "company way." They know exactly what kind of picture sells and what does not. This is good, in a way. Good, if you want a standard wedding album filled with standard wedding photos. You see, your studio photographer will easily lead you through the paces of your "bride gets ready" shots. He or she will take those tearjerkers of you with Mom and Dad (for any good photographer knows who really buys these pictures!). Every customary pose will be included. The only problem is that when a spontaneous moment happens — such as the ring bearer painting the flower girl's face with mashed potato—your studio guy may be down in the lounge watching the Yankees clobber the Sox.
This is not to say that every studio photographer is a robotic bore. I would never insinuate that any human being is not entitled to a work break. I'm just saying that unfortunately, some production studio photographers may not seem as involved in your wedding day as you might wish.
And what of the freelance artist? He or she may have some fantastic ideas for those anything-but-typical settings for your wedding photos. You may bring the freelancer along on your trips to the boutique for gown fittings. He or she may inspire you to dress quite early on your wedding day and take pictures with the groom on a hilltop against the sunrise (that is, if you aren't superstitious about being seen in your gown before the wedding). Most freelancers will consider any "Kodak moment" for an hourly fee. And then you'll receive all the film for developing. Great! Great, that is, until your independent artist encounters an unforeseeable crisis on your wedding day. Then where do you turn?
Wherever your heart and budget may lead you, thoroughly investigate any photographer and/or studio before signing that contract! Beware of those "frilly" photography plans whose brochures are filled with more fluffy adjectives like "dazzling" and "breathtaking" than the hard, cold facts, such as how much those extra prints are going to cost you. See sample portraits. And, most important, obtain in writing all costs and what they cover!
You will also want to know:
1. How long has this company or individual been in business? Approximately how many weddings has this particular photographer covered?
2. How many photographers and assistants will be at your wedding? How many cameras will they bring? What will their attire be?
3. How many hours will be involved? Will the photographer be at your home, the church or chapel, and the entire reception? (Remember that if you wish to keep the hall for extra hours you will need to know all costs and policies for keeping the photographer late, should you wish to do so.)
4. Approximately how many pictures will be taken in total?
5. If you are considering package plan prices, what are the costs for additional photos?
6. May you keep or purchase the proofs?
7. What happens if the photographer becomes ill or has a personal emergency on your wedding day?
8. What are deposit and cancellation policies?
If the studio offers videography and you are interested, many of the same questions apply. In addition, make sure that quality cameras and tape are being used. If the idea interests you, ask if you might be able to edit in some of your own footage, such as still photos of you and the groom, video from the bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, etc. You will need to know the hourly fee for this service, and whether or not you get to keep the raw footage.
A special note: If you are leaning towards a photography studio but feel in your heart that all of the pictures you will want just won't be taken, do not despair! Simply call friends and family that you know wouldn't mind taking candid photos for you on your wedding day and supply them either with the proper film for their cameras, or those "instant camera" packs. Assign one person to collect all of the film at the end of the wedding, and. voila! A million memories that just one photographer alone could never be expected to catch.
The same principle goes for any one of your family or friends who owns a camcorder. Professional videography may seem too expensive
with everything else you have to pay for. And members of the wedding can often get their fellow guests to "interview" a bit easier on film than a stranger can. Just make sure that the camcorder used during your ceremony can operate under low lighting (that is, if .photography of any kind is allowed at your house of worship).
Limousines and Other Enchanting Ways to Get You to the Church on Time
During the course of one particular wedding season, I worked with three brides who fell victim to a horrid scam. They each responded to an ad in their local Sunday paper which offered a white Seville stretch limo for three hours for the incredible price of $100.00. Each bride mailed off her check by the cutoff date requested. Each bride received a confirmation call. And then, each unfortunate bride went to her wedding in the family Toyota. Needless to say, the phantom limousine company disappeared in a rich cloud of smoke.
Call or visit only the reputable companies who appear in your local Yellow Pages. Get a printed list whenever possible of all cars offered, their seating capacities, and their rates. Some companies offer package plan prices for weddings, but get the hourly rates, as well, as they are sometimes less expensive. If you are thinking of hiring more than one vehicle on your wedding day, be sure to look into volume discounts. You will also want to know:
1. What is the driver's attire?
2. Is the driver's gratuity included in the fee? (Generally, it's 10%-15% of the total fee, if not included.)
3. Does the car have a TV? (Most grooms want to know this — especially grooms that get married during the World Series. Just humor him for now.)
4. Is champagne included? If not, and it appeals to you, what would the charge be?
5. What happens if the driver becomes ill or encounters a personal emergency on your wedding day?
Depending on where you live, there are other interesting forms of transportation also available to you. Some fully operating stables offer handsomely arrayed horse-drawn carriages. If you're considering an open coach, find out what's available to you if it rains. You can also check out the antique auto clubs in your area for some unique ways to get you to the church on time. (How about a string of midnight blue Model "A"s for you and the bridal party?) Just make sure that the car you travel in can accommodate you, your gown, and your handsome groom! •
Whatever "royal" transportation you decide on, be sure you understand all deposit, cancellation, and final payment policies before signing on the dotted line.
Having Your Cake (and Eating It, Too!)
Once upon a time it seemed that all wedding cakes were three-tiered, totally white concoctions with little silver "things" all over it. Not anymore. Today's bride may want white frosting, but the cake filling and decoration often reflects her own taste and personality.
Browse through Victorian books and magazines for the most fabulous cakes you have ever seen. (The prices may also be the most expensive you ever paid!) Whatever the case and whatever the source, have a good idea what you would like your wedding cake to look like before heading off to the local bakeries. Bringing a picture is especially helpful.
Don't worry if there is something in it that doesn't quite suit you. If the majority of the design is to your liking, you can explain to the bakery what you would like to change.
Ask to see sample pictures of the bakery's work. Some bakeries even have "mock up" cakes on display. Do these sample cakes measure up to the picture you brought with you? Or, if you don't have a photo, do they measure up to the quality you pictured in your mind?
Ask what fillings can be done if you want something other than white cake or vanilla, and note the prices of those that intrigue you. Then be sure to get all of the following information pertaining to your particular choice or choices:
1. Are all three tiers real? (Some of those very ornate cakes actually have false tiers to cut down on expenses. Now, if you want to save a great deal of money, some bakeries will rent you a fabulous "fake" creation which actually houses a sheet cake under the bottom or largest layer, which you may serve to your guests.)
2. Are the pillars and tier-dividers included in the price of the cake, or will they have to be returned to the bakery? (You will save a substantial amount of money if someone you know can return these items to the bakery for you.)
3. How much in advance of your wedding day will this cake be prepared?
4. Is there a delivery fee? If so, how much?
5. Does the bakery set up the cake at the reception site if the cake table is ready, or is the banquet staff expected to do this?
6. What happens if the cake is accidentally dropped during delivery or setup? (Note: If the bakery will claim responsibility only if they themselves do the setup, you must make sure that the reception site knows to have the cake table in place, fully clothed and skirted by the stated delivery time.)
7. Is it possible to sample the filling and frosting?
8. Is it possible to see the cake of your choice set up at a local banquet facility prior to the guests' arrival?
As with all services, know what the deposit, cancellation, and final payment procedures are. And if at all possible, use your credit card. If the bakery does not come through as promised, you may have some recourse through your credit card company.
Showing posts with label Budget. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Budget. Show all posts
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Investigating Possible Reception Sites (Part IV)
Cake Knives, Guest Books, and the Whole Nine Yards
Some packages offer some, if not all, of the specialty items you will need on your wedding day, such as:
* Place cards
* Matches
* Guest book and pen
* Cake knife
* Wine toast glasses
A few even offer invitations. In truth, many of these items come from the package plan photographer. And if you don't use that photographer, you may not get the goodies that go along with the plan. But don't panic. You will most likely wish to view a wider variety of styles when choosing your invitations, place cards, and matches. And as far as guest books, toast glasses, and cake knives go — you will probably receive these as gifts. Besides, the quality of the package plan equivalents is not always that great. If you don't get any or all of these necessities as gifts, you can easily locate what you need at any fine party supply or gift store.
Prices and Payment Procedures
Keeping in mind that your wedding is several months to a year or so away from the date of your appointment, be sure you know the following:
1. Are the package plan prices guaranteed? Most brochures will indicate the valid price dates, but always ask!
2. If you are not working with a package plan meal, when can you be quoted final prices from the regular dinner menu?
3. Have all applicable taxes and gratuities been thoroughly explained?
4. Are there anyt other additional fees for services such as room setup, bartender, or cake-cutting?
Have your sales rep provide you with an estimate of your total wedding reception costs. Remember, of course, that if you are interested in a personalized buffet menu, the sales rep will most likely not have an exact price quote for you as such menus must first be costed out by the head chef and/or the food and beverage manager. And an open bar, if you are considering one, can be only an approximation at best.
Just get as many prices quoted as you can that day. If there are any items needing to be priced out, ask that these figures be given to you as soon as possible in order to make your final decision.
And Speaking of Final Decisions...
Don't forget, the bottom line is:
* How much and when is the first deposit due?
* What is the schedule for all other payments?
* What is the cancellation policy? When is any or all of your money no longer refundable?
* When is the balance due? Must this payment be made by certified check?
* How are any additional charges on the wedding day handled? (Such as extension of the open bar, the last-minute addition of guests, etc.) Is a credit card or personal check acceptable for such charges?
And one last thing. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you might be interested in having your reception at this facility, ask how you may secure a "hold" on your requested room and time. Most places will offer to hold the space for you anywhere from three business days to two weeks without obligation (i.e., deposit). Of course, if you are given limited time to decide, and there are still items to be price quoted, you should insist on having a few days' extension in which to decide properly.
There! You have just concluded your first banquet facility consultation. Congratulations, bride-to-be! And now, to make things easier for you, I have compiled a summary of the questions you should be asking without all the "whys" and "wherefores" attached. You may want to make a copy of this and clip it to the inside of your notebook for easy reference.
Your Wedding Reception Facility Questionnaire
Name of facility:
Contact person:
Phone number:
Date of first appointment:
Name of banquet room(s) available for reception:
General appearance of room:
Rug color:
Wall color:
Are lighting fixtures working properly?
Appearance of table linens (if applicable):
Is the tone of the room too formal, or not formal enough?
Where would the head table be placed?
What is the maximum seating capacity for the head table?
Would all guest tables be set in view of the head table?
Where would the band or DJ be placed?
How many guest tables are placed in close proximity to the music?
Where would the dance floor be placed?
Can the dimensions of the dance floor accommodate approximately_ guests?
If the number of guests increases, would the dance floor have to be made smaller?
Where would the bar be placed?
Where would pictures be taken?
Color of draperies in picture room:
Color of walls in picture room:
Dimensions of photography area:
Does the facility have any plans to renovate any of these areas prior to the wedding date?
Guarantee of Room
Can the establishment change the room assignment without your knowledge if your guest count changes drastically above or below your estimated number?
Are any or all of the function areas handicap accessible?
Guarantee of Hours
* How many hours are allotted for wedding receptions?
* What is the fee, if any, for additional hours?
Food
* What are the popular package plan entrees?
* What are other possible entree choices?
* What are some of the choices for a buffet?
* If you choose a buffet, would a head waiter or waitress serve the bride and possibly others at the head table?
* Will a buffet table and standing area fit comfortably in the banquet room with approximately_guests in attendance?
* Is it possible to try the food?
* Will this food be prepared by the banquet chef?
* Would it be possible to arrange an evening to view the banquet room set for a wedding reception? When?
* If not wedding season, is there a formal dinner party setup you could view? When?
* What would be the cost, if any, of trying these meals?
* Obtain menus for hors d'oeuvres, deli tables, and sweet tables for future reference.
Bar Service
* Obtain information in writing regarding open bar service, if interested.
* What are the liability laws in regard to alcohol? (Check this also with the proper outside sources.)
* Are "call" brands poured only when requested by name?
* Are special request items available?
Bands (When Provided in Package Plan)
* What is the name of the band and how many hours are included in the package plan price?
* Approximately how many weddings has this band performed at?
* Are all members consistent?
* How many in the group actually sing? Is there a male and a female vocalist available?
* Is a video- or audiocassette of the group available?
* Who is the emcee or band leader?
* What is the rep's opinion of his or her presentation and personality?
* What will the band's attire be?
* Is prerecorded music played during band breaks?
* Will the band learn any special request music? Must sheet music be provided for them?
* Is there any place in which to see this band perform live?
* What is their policy and fee for overtime?
* What happens if a band member becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
* What is the credit off the package plan if the band is not used?
DJs Provided in the Plan
* What is the name of the DJ and how many hours are included in the package plan price?
* How long has this DJ emceed weddings at this particular banquet facility?
* Is the DJ always consistent, or is it an agency that sends out various artists?
* Is there a videocassette for you to consider?
* What is the sales rep's opinion of the DJ's presentation and personality?
* What would the DJ's attire be? Does he or she bring an assistant? If so, what does the assistant wear?
* Does the DJ play prerecorded music during breaks?
* Is there anywhere you can see this DJ perform live?
What are the policies and fees for overtime?
What happens if the DJ becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
What is the credit off the package plan if you decide not to use the DJ?
Does the facility have any policies regarding bands or DJs brought in by the bride?
If the music is not provided through your package plan, does the sales rep have any possible suggestions?
Photography and Videography (When Provided in Package Plan)
Is there a sample album to view?
How long has this company been in business?
Roughly how many weddings have they photographed at this particular facility?
What exactly is included in the wedding plan?
How many photographers (and, if applicable, assistants) are included in the package plan price?
What will their attire be?
How many cameras will they bring?
Will the photographer be at the bride's home, the church or chapel, and the whole reception?
Approximately how many pictures will be taken?
Does the facility have a price listing for extra prints, etc.?
May proofs and/or negatives be purchased?
What happens if the photographer becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
Does the photography studio also offer videography?
What is the price for videography?
Are quality cameras and tape used?
Can personal pictures and video footage be edited into videographer's material? What would the fee for this service be?
Can you keep the raw footage after editing?
What is the credit off the package plan if photography and/or videography is not taken?
If photography and/or videography is not offered in your package plan, can the sales rep recommend any reputable companies or individuals?
"Service Help" Meals
Get suggestions and prices for meals for your band and/or DJ, photographer and/or videographer.
Limousine (When Provided in Package Plan)
* What is the make, year, and color of the car?
* Is it possible to upgrade the make or the color of the limo? What would the additional cost be?
* What will the driver's attire be?
* Is there a discount available for additional car rentals?
* Is there a television in the limo?
* Is champagne included? If not, can it be arranged?
* What happens if the driver becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
* What is the credit off the package plan if the limo is not taken?
* If limousine transportation is not included in your package plan, does the sales rep have any suggestions for you?
Wedding Cake (When Provided in Package Plan)
* Are pictures available of the various styles?
* Is the top tier real, or merely decorative?
* May something other than white or vanilla cake be ordered? What are the costs?
* How much in advance of the wedding day will this cake actually be made?
Is there a credit off the package plan if the cake top is not taken?
What happens if the cake is dropped during delivery or setup?
What is the credit off the package plan if the cake is not taken?
If the cake is not included in your package plan, can the sales rep refer you to any reputable bakeries?
Floral Centerpieces (When Provided in Plan)
Is there a choice of table centerpieces included in the package plan price?
What florist supplies centerpieces? (Get contact name and phone number.)
Can you get a credit on the centerpieces, or put that allowance towards an upgrade?
Are candles allowed in the banquet room?
If floral centerpieces are not offered through your package plan, can the sales rep refer you to a quality florist?
Wedding Toast
How much more costly is champagne than wine?
Is it possible to serve champagne at the head table and parents' tables and wine at the guest tables?
Will waitstaff offer guests a nonalcoholic toast as well?
Linen
What colors are available in tablecloths and napkins? Are linens fresh, crisp, and colorfast?
Will the head table (and buffet table, if applicable) be skirted?
Reception Coordinator
Who will act as host or hostess on your wedding day?
If not the banquet sales rep, is it possible to meet this person? What will that person's duties be on that day?
Safe-Deposit Boxes
Is there a secured safe in which gift envelopes may be placed during the reception?
Is this safe shared with other guests, or are individual lock boxes provided?
Wedding Night Accommodations (Hotels only)
Is there a complimentary changing and/or overnight room for the bride and groom?
What is this room like? Is it possible to see it?
Is there a discounted rate for sleeping rooms for your wedding guests?
What is the procedure for reserving a block of rooms?
Miscellaneous Accessories Are any or all of the following provided through the package plan?
__Yes __No Invitations
__Yes __No Place cards
__Yes __No Matches
__Yes __No Guest book and pen
__Yes __No Cake knife
__Yes __No Wedding toast glasses
Is a credit available if you provide your own accessories?
Prices
Are all prices guaranteed for the date of your wedding? If not, when can exact quotes be given?
Have all applicable taxes, gratuities, rentals, service fees, etc. been thoroughly explained?
Payment and Cancellation Policies
How much and when is the first deposit due?
What is the schedule for all other payments? What is the cancellation policy?
When is any or all of your money no longer refundable?
* When is the balance due?
* Must this final payment be made by certified check?
* How are open bar charges handled?
* If there are any additional food and/or beverage charges on the wedding day, can they be covered by check or credit card?
* At this time, have your sales rep quote your approximate total wedding reception costs based on your estimated guest count.
Tentative Reservation of Wedding Date
* How many days can this date be held without obligation?
* Will a time extension be granted if certain requested prices have not as-yet been quoted?
Some packages offer some, if not all, of the specialty items you will need on your wedding day, such as:
* Place cards
* Matches
* Guest book and pen
* Cake knife
* Wine toast glasses
A few even offer invitations. In truth, many of these items come from the package plan photographer. And if you don't use that photographer, you may not get the goodies that go along with the plan. But don't panic. You will most likely wish to view a wider variety of styles when choosing your invitations, place cards, and matches. And as far as guest books, toast glasses, and cake knives go — you will probably receive these as gifts. Besides, the quality of the package plan equivalents is not always that great. If you don't get any or all of these necessities as gifts, you can easily locate what you need at any fine party supply or gift store.
Prices and Payment Procedures
Keeping in mind that your wedding is several months to a year or so away from the date of your appointment, be sure you know the following:
1. Are the package plan prices guaranteed? Most brochures will indicate the valid price dates, but always ask!
2. If you are not working with a package plan meal, when can you be quoted final prices from the regular dinner menu?
3. Have all applicable taxes and gratuities been thoroughly explained?
4. Are there anyt other additional fees for services such as room setup, bartender, or cake-cutting?
Have your sales rep provide you with an estimate of your total wedding reception costs. Remember, of course, that if you are interested in a personalized buffet menu, the sales rep will most likely not have an exact price quote for you as such menus must first be costed out by the head chef and/or the food and beverage manager. And an open bar, if you are considering one, can be only an approximation at best.
Just get as many prices quoted as you can that day. If there are any items needing to be priced out, ask that these figures be given to you as soon as possible in order to make your final decision.
And Speaking of Final Decisions...
Don't forget, the bottom line is:
* How much and when is the first deposit due?
* What is the schedule for all other payments?
* What is the cancellation policy? When is any or all of your money no longer refundable?
* When is the balance due? Must this payment be made by certified check?
* How are any additional charges on the wedding day handled? (Such as extension of the open bar, the last-minute addition of guests, etc.) Is a credit card or personal check acceptable for such charges?
And one last thing. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you might be interested in having your reception at this facility, ask how you may secure a "hold" on your requested room and time. Most places will offer to hold the space for you anywhere from three business days to two weeks without obligation (i.e., deposit). Of course, if you are given limited time to decide, and there are still items to be price quoted, you should insist on having a few days' extension in which to decide properly.
There! You have just concluded your first banquet facility consultation. Congratulations, bride-to-be! And now, to make things easier for you, I have compiled a summary of the questions you should be asking without all the "whys" and "wherefores" attached. You may want to make a copy of this and clip it to the inside of your notebook for easy reference.
Your Wedding Reception Facility Questionnaire
Name of facility:
Contact person:
Phone number:
Date of first appointment:
Name of banquet room(s) available for reception:
General appearance of room:
Rug color:
Wall color:
Are lighting fixtures working properly?
Appearance of table linens (if applicable):
Is the tone of the room too formal, or not formal enough?
Where would the head table be placed?
What is the maximum seating capacity for the head table?
Would all guest tables be set in view of the head table?
Where would the band or DJ be placed?
How many guest tables are placed in close proximity to the music?
Where would the dance floor be placed?
Can the dimensions of the dance floor accommodate approximately_ guests?
If the number of guests increases, would the dance floor have to be made smaller?
Where would the bar be placed?
Where would pictures be taken?
Color of draperies in picture room:
Color of walls in picture room:
Dimensions of photography area:
Does the facility have any plans to renovate any of these areas prior to the wedding date?
Guarantee of Room
Can the establishment change the room assignment without your knowledge if your guest count changes drastically above or below your estimated number?
Are any or all of the function areas handicap accessible?
Guarantee of Hours
* How many hours are allotted for wedding receptions?
* What is the fee, if any, for additional hours?
Food
* What are the popular package plan entrees?
* What are other possible entree choices?
* What are some of the choices for a buffet?
* If you choose a buffet, would a head waiter or waitress serve the bride and possibly others at the head table?
* Will a buffet table and standing area fit comfortably in the banquet room with approximately_guests in attendance?
* Is it possible to try the food?
* Will this food be prepared by the banquet chef?
* Would it be possible to arrange an evening to view the banquet room set for a wedding reception? When?
* If not wedding season, is there a formal dinner party setup you could view? When?
* What would be the cost, if any, of trying these meals?
* Obtain menus for hors d'oeuvres, deli tables, and sweet tables for future reference.
Bar Service
* Obtain information in writing regarding open bar service, if interested.
* What are the liability laws in regard to alcohol? (Check this also with the proper outside sources.)
* Are "call" brands poured only when requested by name?
* Are special request items available?
Bands (When Provided in Package Plan)
* What is the name of the band and how many hours are included in the package plan price?
* Approximately how many weddings has this band performed at?
* Are all members consistent?
* How many in the group actually sing? Is there a male and a female vocalist available?
* Is a video- or audiocassette of the group available?
* Who is the emcee or band leader?
* What is the rep's opinion of his or her presentation and personality?
* What will the band's attire be?
* Is prerecorded music played during band breaks?
* Will the band learn any special request music? Must sheet music be provided for them?
* Is there any place in which to see this band perform live?
* What is their policy and fee for overtime?
* What happens if a band member becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
* What is the credit off the package plan if the band is not used?
DJs Provided in the Plan
* What is the name of the DJ and how many hours are included in the package plan price?
* How long has this DJ emceed weddings at this particular banquet facility?
* Is the DJ always consistent, or is it an agency that sends out various artists?
* Is there a videocassette for you to consider?
* What is the sales rep's opinion of the DJ's presentation and personality?
* What would the DJ's attire be? Does he or she bring an assistant? If so, what does the assistant wear?
* Does the DJ play prerecorded music during breaks?
* Is there anywhere you can see this DJ perform live?
What are the policies and fees for overtime?
What happens if the DJ becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
What is the credit off the package plan if you decide not to use the DJ?
Does the facility have any policies regarding bands or DJs brought in by the bride?
If the music is not provided through your package plan, does the sales rep have any possible suggestions?
Photography and Videography (When Provided in Package Plan)
Is there a sample album to view?
How long has this company been in business?
Roughly how many weddings have they photographed at this particular facility?
What exactly is included in the wedding plan?
How many photographers (and, if applicable, assistants) are included in the package plan price?
What will their attire be?
How many cameras will they bring?
Will the photographer be at the bride's home, the church or chapel, and the whole reception?
Approximately how many pictures will be taken?
Does the facility have a price listing for extra prints, etc.?
May proofs and/or negatives be purchased?
What happens if the photographer becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
Does the photography studio also offer videography?
What is the price for videography?
Are quality cameras and tape used?
Can personal pictures and video footage be edited into videographer's material? What would the fee for this service be?
Can you keep the raw footage after editing?
What is the credit off the package plan if photography and/or videography is not taken?
If photography and/or videography is not offered in your package plan, can the sales rep recommend any reputable companies or individuals?
"Service Help" Meals
Get suggestions and prices for meals for your band and/or DJ, photographer and/or videographer.
Limousine (When Provided in Package Plan)
* What is the make, year, and color of the car?
* Is it possible to upgrade the make or the color of the limo? What would the additional cost be?
* What will the driver's attire be?
* Is there a discount available for additional car rentals?
* Is there a television in the limo?
* Is champagne included? If not, can it be arranged?
* What happens if the driver becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
* What is the credit off the package plan if the limo is not taken?
* If limousine transportation is not included in your package plan, does the sales rep have any suggestions for you?
Wedding Cake (When Provided in Package Plan)
* Are pictures available of the various styles?
* Is the top tier real, or merely decorative?
* May something other than white or vanilla cake be ordered? What are the costs?
* How much in advance of the wedding day will this cake actually be made?
Is there a credit off the package plan if the cake top is not taken?
What happens if the cake is dropped during delivery or setup?
What is the credit off the package plan if the cake is not taken?
If the cake is not included in your package plan, can the sales rep refer you to any reputable bakeries?
Floral Centerpieces (When Provided in Plan)
Is there a choice of table centerpieces included in the package plan price?
What florist supplies centerpieces? (Get contact name and phone number.)
Can you get a credit on the centerpieces, or put that allowance towards an upgrade?
Are candles allowed in the banquet room?
If floral centerpieces are not offered through your package plan, can the sales rep refer you to a quality florist?
Wedding Toast
How much more costly is champagne than wine?
Is it possible to serve champagne at the head table and parents' tables and wine at the guest tables?
Will waitstaff offer guests a nonalcoholic toast as well?
Linen
What colors are available in tablecloths and napkins? Are linens fresh, crisp, and colorfast?
Will the head table (and buffet table, if applicable) be skirted?
Reception Coordinator
Who will act as host or hostess on your wedding day?
If not the banquet sales rep, is it possible to meet this person? What will that person's duties be on that day?
Safe-Deposit Boxes
Is there a secured safe in which gift envelopes may be placed during the reception?
Is this safe shared with other guests, or are individual lock boxes provided?
Wedding Night Accommodations (Hotels only)
Is there a complimentary changing and/or overnight room for the bride and groom?
What is this room like? Is it possible to see it?
Is there a discounted rate for sleeping rooms for your wedding guests?
What is the procedure for reserving a block of rooms?
Miscellaneous Accessories Are any or all of the following provided through the package plan?
__Yes __No Invitations
__Yes __No Place cards
__Yes __No Matches
__Yes __No Guest book and pen
__Yes __No Cake knife
__Yes __No Wedding toast glasses
Is a credit available if you provide your own accessories?
Prices
Are all prices guaranteed for the date of your wedding? If not, when can exact quotes be given?
Have all applicable taxes, gratuities, rentals, service fees, etc. been thoroughly explained?
Payment and Cancellation Policies
How much and when is the first deposit due?
What is the schedule for all other payments? What is the cancellation policy?
When is any or all of your money no longer refundable?
* When is the balance due?
* Must this final payment be made by certified check?
* How are open bar charges handled?
* If there are any additional food and/or beverage charges on the wedding day, can they be covered by check or credit card?
* At this time, have your sales rep quote your approximate total wedding reception costs based on your estimated guest count.
Tentative Reservation of Wedding Date
* How many days can this date be held without obligation?
* Will a time extension be granted if certain requested prices have not as-yet been quoted?
Investigating Possible Reception Sites (Part III)
Photography and Videography
If the facility offers a package plan photographer, they will most likely have a sample album for you to look through. As you browse through the pictures, don't just pay attention to the bride's gown or how funny the ushers look. Study the quality — particularly that of the special effects photos.
Then, make sure you know exactly what is included and what the "extras" will cost you! Now here's the unfortunate truth about many a package plan photography studio: They've offered the function facility a very attractive price to handle all their weddings, and for this "very attractive price," you may be offered only as few as two dozen color candids and an engagement portrait. However, that photographer is going to take roughly 300 pictures during the course of your wedding day. Are you going to settle for just 24 of these portraits? Of course not! And just wait until you hear the price of each additional picture you order! Ouch! Who made the best bargain here? Unfortunately, not you.
At this point, listen to what your banquet sales rep has to say about the package plan photographer. And be sure to get the answers to the following questions:
1. How long has this company been in business?
2. Roughly how many weddings has this particular individual or studio photographed for this function facility?
3. How many photographers and assistants are included in the package plan price?
4. What will their attire be?
5. How many cameras will they bring?
6. Will the photographer be at your home, the church or chapel, and the full length of your reception? (Note: If you elect to keep the hall for extra hours, you will need to contract the photographer for additional time if you really want him or her there. Many brides, however, find the costs prohibitive, and plan their final necessary pictures before the photographer leaves.)
7. Approximately how many pictures will be taken?
8. Does the function facility have a price sheet for additional pictures? If not, make sure you have the studio's phone number before you leave. You will definitely need this information before making your final decision!
9. Can you keep or purchase the proofs?
10. Who owns the negatives?
11. If the photographer is an individual not working for a studio, what happens if the photographer becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
12. What is the dollar amount subtracted from the package plan should you elect not to use the photographer?
Once you have gathered all the pertinent information regarding the package plan photographer, make a few phone calls to other studios in order to compare services and prices. Be a smart consumer. After all, it's your money!
Now, if a videographer is also included in the plan (presumably from the same studio as the photographer), many of the same questions still apply. But in addition, you will want to know:
1. What kind of camera and film will be used? Will the camera be equipped for low lighting? Will the film used provide a quality videotape when edited?
2. Can you work with the videographer in order to edit in some personal footage, such as pictures of you and your fiance as children, your parents, and perhaps some taped footage from your engagement party and/or bridal shower? What would be the hourly rate for this service?
3. Can you keep the raw footage after it is edited?
Once again, it is a nice gesture to feed the photographer and/or videographer. They have been with you on your wedding day since an hour or so before your ceremony. Should you select to use the package plan photographer, obtain the price of your meal alone without all the package plan frills added in, or get quotes for sandwiches and soft drinks.
Should you need assistance in finding your own photographer or videographer, please see the guide.
The Limo
If a limousine is included in the package plan, be sure to ask the following:
1. What make, year, and color will the limo be?
2. Is it possible to arrange for a different model (such as a Packard) or a different color? Typically any upgrade would involve an additional fee, so ask!
3. How will the driver be dressed?
4. Does the individual or company offer discounts for additional vehicle rentals?
5. Is there a television in the limo? Just about every groom has asked me this question. It appears that many a wedding takes place during some "must see or die" sporting event, and these grooms think they'll catch a few minutes of it on the way to the reception. But don't worry. When that moment comes, he'll only have eyes for you!
6. Is champagne included? If not, and you'd like some, can this be arranged through the banquet facility or through the limousine company?
7. If the driver is not affiliated with a company that employs numerous drivers, what happens if the he or she becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
8. What is the dollar amount subtracted from the package plan if the limo is not taken?
If there is not a limousine included in your package plan, ask your sales rep for suggestions on reputable companies. There are also some other interesting modes of transportation available.
The Wedding Cake
If the cake is included in the package plan, your sales rep should have some pictures to show you. These sample pictures should display the various styles available with cake tops shown separately. You don't have to worry about how much cake you will need. The function facility will order it based on your final guest count. Some questions to ask include:
1. Is the top tier real cake, or merely decorative?'
2. Can you order something other than white or vanilla cake? In most cases there would be an additional fee.
3. How much in advance of the wedding day will this cake be baked?
4. Is a credit available on the cake top should you wish to provide your own? This is an area in which you can be creative!
5. What happens if — God forbid — the bakery or the facility drops your cake during delivery or setup?
6. What is the dollar amount that will be subtracted if the cake is not selected from the package plan?
If the facility in question does not offer a wedding cake in its package plan, a guide to ordering your own appears later.
Centerpieces
Most, if not all, function facilities offer guest table centerpieces in their package plans. They can range from a single rose in a bud vase to a spray of color-coordinated carnations to an elaborate bowl of floating orchids.
Often it is best to wait until you have investigated florists for your complete bridal needs before accepting the centerpieces provided in the plan. There are so many creative options these days, and the table arrangements at your wedding can be one of your very own signature pieces.
In the meantime, ask your sales rep the following questions:
1. Do you have a choice of centerpieces included in the package plan price? (For example, if the plan includes a spray of carnations, could you have a single rose in a bud vase instead?)
2. What florist provides these centerpieces? (Get a contact name and phone number.)
3. Can you get a credit if you choose not to use the centerpieces, or put that allowance towards an upgrade?
4. Are candles allowed on the guest tables? This question will be answered by the fire and safety laws governing your particular county or state. In most areas, candles are permitted only when completely shielded by hurricane glass. And even then, you may have to hire a fire marshal to watch over the proceedings.
The Wedding Toast
Many plans offer a Chablis, rose, or Burgundy toast with a small fee for an upgrade to champagne. With others, the toast is listed as being champagne. The truth is that in either case, the quality is not exactly what you might call "top shelf." According to your personal taste and budget, you may wish to serve a simple wine toast — especially when you can get a credit of 50t-$ 1.50 per person for not serving champagne. You can always provide the head table and parents' tables with champagne, if you wish. No one else in the room is going to notice, or even care for that matter.
In any event, it is beneficial to ask if the waitstaff would visit your guest tables at the appropriate time and offer a ginger ale or juice toast instead. This is a thoughtful gesture for children and pregnant women. And there are always those who cannot or will not drink alcohol.
Your sales rep should have samples of all the .available linen colors for you to look at. But buyer beware! Most colored linens, especially reds and greens, fade after just a few launderings.
This has always been an area of great concern for brides, and particularly for the banquet facilities who are renting these linens. At the hotel where I worked, we ordered three times what we needed in order to cull the best of each shade.
You will want fresh, crisp, matching, colorful linen. Speak frankly with your sales rep on this issue. You may find that going with starched white linen is your best bet. Never take on the task of providing your own linen unless you are personally acquainted with someone in the business. Tablecloth and napkin rentals can be very steep. And you, or someone you assign, must be responsible for making sure that every last piece of linen is accounted for and properly returned to the supplier.
Whatever the case, ask how the napkins are to be folded. Often the head table is decorated in a fleur-de-lis pattern, while the guest table napkins are fan-folded. This total effect is very nice. You will also want to know if the head table will be skirted, as well as the buffet table, should you elect to have one.
Reception Coordinator or Maitre d'
By this point in your interview, you may find your banquet sales representative to be a most delightful person. He or she is listening to everything you say, and seems to share all your hopes and concerns. You just might be wishing that he or she will be acting as your reception host or hostess on your wedding day.
The plain truth is, especially in large hotels and banquet facilities, these sales reps are required to work very long hours behind a desk. They come in well before nine, and are expected to stay late in order to accommodate appointments such as yours. In other words, the management has specific jobs for specific people, and acting as your personal assistant on some given Saturday or Sunday is not always a part of the plan.
Yes, I personally acted as hostess at the wedding receptions I booked. But that was my choice. Please try not to be upset if the sales rep you are becoming attached to cannot do the same. You will most likely find . that the reception coordinator assisting you on your wedding day will be equally as wonderful. In some establishments, the Maitre d' doubles as your bridal party host. This person has often had years of experience with the facility and, more importantly, with very special occasions such as yours. Maitre d's are chosen for their professional as well as their personal manner. And because they are in charge of the serving staff, you can rest assured that your guests will be treated as royally as you are.
Other facilities hire someone specifically to act as your reception coordinator. This person has no other duty than to attend to your needs and desires.
In any case, ask if there might be a convenient time in which you can meet your reception host or hostess. It is a common request, and you will feel better for it.
Safe-Deposit Boxes
Ask if there is a safe in which you can secure your money envelopes during the reception. Individually assigned lock boxes are the best. I do not recommend sharing a "common use" safe, which is one into which all the hotel guests have deposited their valuables. Unlike the other guests, you will not have complete knowledge of what you are depositing unless you open each and every envelope and count the funds.
Wedding Night Accommodations (Hotels Only)
A complimentary room for the bride and groom is often provided in hotel-based package plans. No, it is not always the bridal suite or any one of the other top-notch accommodations, for that matter. But even if you do plan on staying elsewhere, this room will come in handy as a changing room, or even just a place where you can quietly freshen up during the course of your reception.
If you are dealing with a hotel facility, this would be a good time to ask about overnight accommodations for your guests. Many hotels offer affordable discounts for wedding guests, particularly on weekends — and you can include this information with your invitations. Just remember to find out if your wedding date coincides with a special event going on in or around town. This may mean that hotel reservations will not be available if you or your guests wait too long.
A guide to securing a block of rooms appears later.
If the facility offers a package plan photographer, they will most likely have a sample album for you to look through. As you browse through the pictures, don't just pay attention to the bride's gown or how funny the ushers look. Study the quality — particularly that of the special effects photos.
Then, make sure you know exactly what is included and what the "extras" will cost you! Now here's the unfortunate truth about many a package plan photography studio: They've offered the function facility a very attractive price to handle all their weddings, and for this "very attractive price," you may be offered only as few as two dozen color candids and an engagement portrait. However, that photographer is going to take roughly 300 pictures during the course of your wedding day. Are you going to settle for just 24 of these portraits? Of course not! And just wait until you hear the price of each additional picture you order! Ouch! Who made the best bargain here? Unfortunately, not you.
At this point, listen to what your banquet sales rep has to say about the package plan photographer. And be sure to get the answers to the following questions:
1. How long has this company been in business?
2. Roughly how many weddings has this particular individual or studio photographed for this function facility?
3. How many photographers and assistants are included in the package plan price?
4. What will their attire be?
5. How many cameras will they bring?
6. Will the photographer be at your home, the church or chapel, and the full length of your reception? (Note: If you elect to keep the hall for extra hours, you will need to contract the photographer for additional time if you really want him or her there. Many brides, however, find the costs prohibitive, and plan their final necessary pictures before the photographer leaves.)
7. Approximately how many pictures will be taken?
8. Does the function facility have a price sheet for additional pictures? If not, make sure you have the studio's phone number before you leave. You will definitely need this information before making your final decision!
9. Can you keep or purchase the proofs?
10. Who owns the negatives?
11. If the photographer is an individual not working for a studio, what happens if the photographer becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
12. What is the dollar amount subtracted from the package plan should you elect not to use the photographer?
Once you have gathered all the pertinent information regarding the package plan photographer, make a few phone calls to other studios in order to compare services and prices. Be a smart consumer. After all, it's your money!
Now, if a videographer is also included in the plan (presumably from the same studio as the photographer), many of the same questions still apply. But in addition, you will want to know:
1. What kind of camera and film will be used? Will the camera be equipped for low lighting? Will the film used provide a quality videotape when edited?
2. Can you work with the videographer in order to edit in some personal footage, such as pictures of you and your fiance as children, your parents, and perhaps some taped footage from your engagement party and/or bridal shower? What would be the hourly rate for this service?
3. Can you keep the raw footage after it is edited?
Once again, it is a nice gesture to feed the photographer and/or videographer. They have been with you on your wedding day since an hour or so before your ceremony. Should you select to use the package plan photographer, obtain the price of your meal alone without all the package plan frills added in, or get quotes for sandwiches and soft drinks.
Should you need assistance in finding your own photographer or videographer, please see the guide.
The Limo
If a limousine is included in the package plan, be sure to ask the following:
1. What make, year, and color will the limo be?
2. Is it possible to arrange for a different model (such as a Packard) or a different color? Typically any upgrade would involve an additional fee, so ask!
3. How will the driver be dressed?
4. Does the individual or company offer discounts for additional vehicle rentals?
5. Is there a television in the limo? Just about every groom has asked me this question. It appears that many a wedding takes place during some "must see or die" sporting event, and these grooms think they'll catch a few minutes of it on the way to the reception. But don't worry. When that moment comes, he'll only have eyes for you!
6. Is champagne included? If not, and you'd like some, can this be arranged through the banquet facility or through the limousine company?
7. If the driver is not affiliated with a company that employs numerous drivers, what happens if the he or she becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
8. What is the dollar amount subtracted from the package plan if the limo is not taken?
If there is not a limousine included in your package plan, ask your sales rep for suggestions on reputable companies. There are also some other interesting modes of transportation available.
The Wedding Cake
If the cake is included in the package plan, your sales rep should have some pictures to show you. These sample pictures should display the various styles available with cake tops shown separately. You don't have to worry about how much cake you will need. The function facility will order it based on your final guest count. Some questions to ask include:
1. Is the top tier real cake, or merely decorative?'
2. Can you order something other than white or vanilla cake? In most cases there would be an additional fee.
3. How much in advance of the wedding day will this cake be baked?
4. Is a credit available on the cake top should you wish to provide your own? This is an area in which you can be creative!
5. What happens if — God forbid — the bakery or the facility drops your cake during delivery or setup?
6. What is the dollar amount that will be subtracted if the cake is not selected from the package plan?
If the facility in question does not offer a wedding cake in its package plan, a guide to ordering your own appears later.
Centerpieces
Most, if not all, function facilities offer guest table centerpieces in their package plans. They can range from a single rose in a bud vase to a spray of color-coordinated carnations to an elaborate bowl of floating orchids.
Often it is best to wait until you have investigated florists for your complete bridal needs before accepting the centerpieces provided in the plan. There are so many creative options these days, and the table arrangements at your wedding can be one of your very own signature pieces.
In the meantime, ask your sales rep the following questions:
1. Do you have a choice of centerpieces included in the package plan price? (For example, if the plan includes a spray of carnations, could you have a single rose in a bud vase instead?)
2. What florist provides these centerpieces? (Get a contact name and phone number.)
3. Can you get a credit if you choose not to use the centerpieces, or put that allowance towards an upgrade?
4. Are candles allowed on the guest tables? This question will be answered by the fire and safety laws governing your particular county or state. In most areas, candles are permitted only when completely shielded by hurricane glass. And even then, you may have to hire a fire marshal to watch over the proceedings.
The Wedding Toast
Many plans offer a Chablis, rose, or Burgundy toast with a small fee for an upgrade to champagne. With others, the toast is listed as being champagne. The truth is that in either case, the quality is not exactly what you might call "top shelf." According to your personal taste and budget, you may wish to serve a simple wine toast — especially when you can get a credit of 50t-$ 1.50 per person for not serving champagne. You can always provide the head table and parents' tables with champagne, if you wish. No one else in the room is going to notice, or even care for that matter.
In any event, it is beneficial to ask if the waitstaff would visit your guest tables at the appropriate time and offer a ginger ale or juice toast instead. This is a thoughtful gesture for children and pregnant women. And there are always those who cannot or will not drink alcohol.
Your sales rep should have samples of all the .available linen colors for you to look at. But buyer beware! Most colored linens, especially reds and greens, fade after just a few launderings.
This has always been an area of great concern for brides, and particularly for the banquet facilities who are renting these linens. At the hotel where I worked, we ordered three times what we needed in order to cull the best of each shade.
You will want fresh, crisp, matching, colorful linen. Speak frankly with your sales rep on this issue. You may find that going with starched white linen is your best bet. Never take on the task of providing your own linen unless you are personally acquainted with someone in the business. Tablecloth and napkin rentals can be very steep. And you, or someone you assign, must be responsible for making sure that every last piece of linen is accounted for and properly returned to the supplier.
Whatever the case, ask how the napkins are to be folded. Often the head table is decorated in a fleur-de-lis pattern, while the guest table napkins are fan-folded. This total effect is very nice. You will also want to know if the head table will be skirted, as well as the buffet table, should you elect to have one.
Reception Coordinator or Maitre d'
By this point in your interview, you may find your banquet sales representative to be a most delightful person. He or she is listening to everything you say, and seems to share all your hopes and concerns. You just might be wishing that he or she will be acting as your reception host or hostess on your wedding day.
The plain truth is, especially in large hotels and banquet facilities, these sales reps are required to work very long hours behind a desk. They come in well before nine, and are expected to stay late in order to accommodate appointments such as yours. In other words, the management has specific jobs for specific people, and acting as your personal assistant on some given Saturday or Sunday is not always a part of the plan.
Yes, I personally acted as hostess at the wedding receptions I booked. But that was my choice. Please try not to be upset if the sales rep you are becoming attached to cannot do the same. You will most likely find . that the reception coordinator assisting you on your wedding day will be equally as wonderful. In some establishments, the Maitre d' doubles as your bridal party host. This person has often had years of experience with the facility and, more importantly, with very special occasions such as yours. Maitre d's are chosen for their professional as well as their personal manner. And because they are in charge of the serving staff, you can rest assured that your guests will be treated as royally as you are.
Other facilities hire someone specifically to act as your reception coordinator. This person has no other duty than to attend to your needs and desires.
In any case, ask if there might be a convenient time in which you can meet your reception host or hostess. It is a common request, and you will feel better for it.
Safe-Deposit Boxes
Ask if there is a safe in which you can secure your money envelopes during the reception. Individually assigned lock boxes are the best. I do not recommend sharing a "common use" safe, which is one into which all the hotel guests have deposited their valuables. Unlike the other guests, you will not have complete knowledge of what you are depositing unless you open each and every envelope and count the funds.
Wedding Night Accommodations (Hotels Only)
A complimentary room for the bride and groom is often provided in hotel-based package plans. No, it is not always the bridal suite or any one of the other top-notch accommodations, for that matter. But even if you do plan on staying elsewhere, this room will come in handy as a changing room, or even just a place where you can quietly freshen up during the course of your reception.
If you are dealing with a hotel facility, this would be a good time to ask about overnight accommodations for your guests. Many hotels offer affordable discounts for wedding guests, particularly on weekends — and you can include this information with your invitations. Just remember to find out if your wedding date coincides with a special event going on in or around town. This may mean that hotel reservations will not be available if you or your guests wait too long.
A guide to securing a block of rooms appears later.
Investigating Possible Reception Sites (Part II)
Hors d'Oeuvres, Deli Trays, and Sweet Tables
Ask for these menus if you'don't have them already. But you needn't fuss with details at this time. Your need for hors d'oeuvres can be determined when you know how much time your guests will be standing around during picture taking, receiving lines, etc. Deli trays and/or sweet tables are nice if you elect to keep the hall for extra hours.
Understanding Bar Options
To open or not to open, that is the question. Many bridal couples today feel it is necessary to provide at least one hour of open bar service for their guests. But the legal as well as the financial aspects are constraining. My suggestions are:
Understand the liability laws of your particular county and state. No banquet facility is going to accept complete responsibility for the actions of your guests. Everyone involved can be at fault — the facility, the bartender, the waitstaff, your family, and you. But don't shy away from it all in a panic. We are talking about a wedding, and not an annual gathering of the Raucous Revivers of Good OP Ancient Rome. Most people will act responsibly. You can rest assured that your banquet facility has taken the time to train their employees to properly and maturely guard against such mishaps. (In some states it's an insurance requirement!) It is in everyone's best interest to be careful.
There are different options when hosting an open bar. Obtain from the function facility, in writing or printed form, all of the possible ways you can host an open bar. In some states where it is legal, you can have a per-person per-hour rate. Keep in mind however, that this option tends to work more in favor of the banquet facility. Some hosts pay for beer and wine, leaving guests to pay for their own mixed drinks. You can open the bar for the first hour only or, if you feel your finances can go one step further, you can allow drinks to be served up to a certain budgeted dollar figure. This gives you complete control over what you spend on drinks for your guests. Following the hosted service, a cash bar should commence, allowing your guests the opportunity to purchase additional drinks, should they wish to do so.
If you are considering an open bar, a good question to ask is: "If a guest simply asks for a gin and tonic, will a house brand be poured, or a more expensive name brand?" The latter is a rather unfortunate gimmick used by some banquet facilities to generate more income. Whatever the answer, you may wish to insist that name brands be used only when requested.
In any case, a good guideline for estimating the cost of an open bar for the first hour of your reception is as follows:
Multiply the anticipated number of guests by 2.5, then multiply that figure by the average cost of a mixed drink. For example:
200 guests x 2.5 = 500 drinks 500-drinks @ $2.75 = $1,375.00
Now add all applicable taxes and gratuities, and you have a very safe estimate of what your bar costs would be for the opening hour of your reception.
To estimate the cost of an open bar for the entire evening, multiply your total number of guests by 6 and follow the same format as above. For example:
200 guests x 6 = 1,200 drinks 1,200 drinks @ $2.75 = $3,300.00
As before, add in the proper taxes and tips, and you have your total. Of course, not every guest at your wedding will consume six drinks. But once you've figured the most it could cost you, anything less would be a blessing. Remember that the most drinks will be consumed during the first hour of your reception. Be advised, a terrible amount of waste occurs. Guests will order drinks they normally would not. And in all the excitement of the cocktail hour, drinks are very often set down and forgotten, resulting in another quick trip to the bar. It's sad, but somewhat inevitable.
You may wonder if the bartenders are being honest. After all, they stand to make a pretty healthy tip for that one frantic hour of service. But let me assure you that hotel and restaurant managers are very particular about the people they employ. Any doubts still linger? Assign a favorite uncle or other worthy volunteer to stand by the bar during the hosted service. (Just remember that this person cannot be a key participant in your formal wedding pictures.) This guardian needn't act conspicuous — if anything needs to be reported, it should just be done as soon as possible.
General Beverage Information
Special Requests: Is your fiance a Bud man? Does the best man prefer some gin blended only in Tasmania? Ask your sales rep if such items are available or can be ordered. Keep in mind that some facilities are licensed only with certain distributors, and it may be impossible to obtain your special requests. In many states it is illegal to bring your own beverages into a public facility. Be sure to find out!
Beer: Ask for a listing of all brands available to your guests. Beer is very popular, and the wider the assortment, the more people you will please.
Liquor and liqueurs: If the banquet room does not have a bar already built in (and most don't), your bartender will be working with a portable bar. And with limited space, the bar may be supplied only with popular request items. With this in mind, should any of your guests prefer liqueurs (especially as an after-dinner drink), ask if these are available and can be stocked for your wedding.
One last note before we move on. Beware of package plans offering open bar service for your guests included in the overall price. The function facility is obviously protecting their own interests when pricing out such an option, often resulting in your having to pay two to four extra dollars per person for drinks that were never consumed!
The Music
If a band is offered in a package plan, ask the following questions:
1. What is the name of the band and how many hours are included in the package plan price? (You should be quoted a minimum of four hours with an average of forty minutes on and twenty minutes off per hour. The band will coordinate their breaks with your reception activities.)
2. How long has this band performed at weddings at this particular facility?
3. Are all members consistent? (i.e., is the lead singer always the same?) Does the band rent itself out in parts — for example, is there a horn section that is not included in the package plan price?
4. How many in the group actually sing? (Having both a male and female vocalist is a nice plus. This gives you more range in selecting your dance music.)
5. Is there a vidéocassette or audiocassette available for your consideration?
6. Who is the emcee? What is the sales rep's opinion of the emcee's presentation and personality?
7. What will be the band's attire?
8. Will they play prerecorded music during breaks?
9. Will they learn any specific music they don't already know, if given adequate time? (If the answer is yes, you will probably have to provide them with the sheet music for any special song you want performed at your wedding.)
10. Is there any place you can see this band perform live? Often these bands will work lounges and nightclubs outside the wedding season. It may even be possible for you to hear the band performing at the function facility. But in such a case, remember to dress nicely and remain outside of the banquet room.
11. What is their policy and fee for overtime?
12. What happens if a band member becomes ill, or has an emergency on your wedding day?
13. What is the dollar amount subtracted from the package plan should you elect not to use the band?
If a DJ is offered through the package plan, many of the same questions apply as for a band:
1. What is the name of the DJ and how many hours are included in the package plan price?
2. How long has this DJ emceed weddings at this particular facility?
3. Is the DJ always the same, or is it an agency that sends out different emcees?
4. Is there a vidéocassette for you to consider?
5. What is the sales rep's opinion of his or her presentation and personality? (If the DJs are being sent through an agency, perhaps your sales rep could check and see if a particular "favorite" might be available on your wedding date.)
6. What would be the DJ's attire? Does he or she bring an assistant? If so, what does the assistant wear?
7. Does the DJ play prerecorded music during breaks? (This may seem like a terribly foolish question, but ask anyway. There are still a few disc jockeys out there who work exclusively with turntables and 45s!)
8. Is there a place in which to see the DJ perform live? (You may be able to attend a performance at a wedding at the function facility. But remember to dress nicely and remain outside of the banquet room.)
9. What are the policy and fees for overtime?
10. What happens if the DJ becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
11. What is the dollar amount subtracted from the package plan should you elect not to use the DJ?
Non-Package Plan Music
Quite a few facilities have deleted music from their package plans, based on cost alone. So, if you don't know of a band or DJ that is especially good for weddings, your sales rep should be able to give you some positive suggestions. On the other hand, if you already have a band or DJ contracted to do your wedding, ask your sales rep if the band or DJ can check out the facility for acoustics, loading access, etc. This is also a good time to ask if the facility has any policies regarding bands or DJs that you hire on your own. For further assistance when you must locate your own band or DJ, please see the guide.
Feeding the Band and/or DJ
This is a special courtesy you should seriously consider if your budget allows. Of course, if you are paying an all-inclusive package plan price which includes the cost of the band or DJ, you should not be expected to pay the entire amount to feed them.
Ask your sales rep what the cost of each meal, without all the package plan "frills," would be with tax and gratuity added, or get a quote on sandwiches and soft drinks, or any other meal idea you or the sales rep may have for such a situation.
You needn't place the band members or DJ at a guest table unless you
are personally acquainted with them and wish to include them in the festivities. Most performers prefer to take their breaks away from the crowd, anyway. It allows them a few minutes of peace and quiet without being bombarded with song requests.
Ask for these menus if you'don't have them already. But you needn't fuss with details at this time. Your need for hors d'oeuvres can be determined when you know how much time your guests will be standing around during picture taking, receiving lines, etc. Deli trays and/or sweet tables are nice if you elect to keep the hall for extra hours.
Understanding Bar Options
To open or not to open, that is the question. Many bridal couples today feel it is necessary to provide at least one hour of open bar service for their guests. But the legal as well as the financial aspects are constraining. My suggestions are:
Understand the liability laws of your particular county and state. No banquet facility is going to accept complete responsibility for the actions of your guests. Everyone involved can be at fault — the facility, the bartender, the waitstaff, your family, and you. But don't shy away from it all in a panic. We are talking about a wedding, and not an annual gathering of the Raucous Revivers of Good OP Ancient Rome. Most people will act responsibly. You can rest assured that your banquet facility has taken the time to train their employees to properly and maturely guard against such mishaps. (In some states it's an insurance requirement!) It is in everyone's best interest to be careful.
There are different options when hosting an open bar. Obtain from the function facility, in writing or printed form, all of the possible ways you can host an open bar. In some states where it is legal, you can have a per-person per-hour rate. Keep in mind however, that this option tends to work more in favor of the banquet facility. Some hosts pay for beer and wine, leaving guests to pay for their own mixed drinks. You can open the bar for the first hour only or, if you feel your finances can go one step further, you can allow drinks to be served up to a certain budgeted dollar figure. This gives you complete control over what you spend on drinks for your guests. Following the hosted service, a cash bar should commence, allowing your guests the opportunity to purchase additional drinks, should they wish to do so.
If you are considering an open bar, a good question to ask is: "If a guest simply asks for a gin and tonic, will a house brand be poured, or a more expensive name brand?" The latter is a rather unfortunate gimmick used by some banquet facilities to generate more income. Whatever the answer, you may wish to insist that name brands be used only when requested.
In any case, a good guideline for estimating the cost of an open bar for the first hour of your reception is as follows:
Multiply the anticipated number of guests by 2.5, then multiply that figure by the average cost of a mixed drink. For example:
200 guests x 2.5 = 500 drinks 500-drinks @ $2.75 = $1,375.00
Now add all applicable taxes and gratuities, and you have a very safe estimate of what your bar costs would be for the opening hour of your reception.
To estimate the cost of an open bar for the entire evening, multiply your total number of guests by 6 and follow the same format as above. For example:
200 guests x 6 = 1,200 drinks 1,200 drinks @ $2.75 = $3,300.00
As before, add in the proper taxes and tips, and you have your total. Of course, not every guest at your wedding will consume six drinks. But once you've figured the most it could cost you, anything less would be a blessing. Remember that the most drinks will be consumed during the first hour of your reception. Be advised, a terrible amount of waste occurs. Guests will order drinks they normally would not. And in all the excitement of the cocktail hour, drinks are very often set down and forgotten, resulting in another quick trip to the bar. It's sad, but somewhat inevitable.
You may wonder if the bartenders are being honest. After all, they stand to make a pretty healthy tip for that one frantic hour of service. But let me assure you that hotel and restaurant managers are very particular about the people they employ. Any doubts still linger? Assign a favorite uncle or other worthy volunteer to stand by the bar during the hosted service. (Just remember that this person cannot be a key participant in your formal wedding pictures.) This guardian needn't act conspicuous — if anything needs to be reported, it should just be done as soon as possible.
General Beverage Information
Special Requests: Is your fiance a Bud man? Does the best man prefer some gin blended only in Tasmania? Ask your sales rep if such items are available or can be ordered. Keep in mind that some facilities are licensed only with certain distributors, and it may be impossible to obtain your special requests. In many states it is illegal to bring your own beverages into a public facility. Be sure to find out!
Beer: Ask for a listing of all brands available to your guests. Beer is very popular, and the wider the assortment, the more people you will please.
Liquor and liqueurs: If the banquet room does not have a bar already built in (and most don't), your bartender will be working with a portable bar. And with limited space, the bar may be supplied only with popular request items. With this in mind, should any of your guests prefer liqueurs (especially as an after-dinner drink), ask if these are available and can be stocked for your wedding.
One last note before we move on. Beware of package plans offering open bar service for your guests included in the overall price. The function facility is obviously protecting their own interests when pricing out such an option, often resulting in your having to pay two to four extra dollars per person for drinks that were never consumed!
The Music
If a band is offered in a package plan, ask the following questions:
1. What is the name of the band and how many hours are included in the package plan price? (You should be quoted a minimum of four hours with an average of forty minutes on and twenty minutes off per hour. The band will coordinate their breaks with your reception activities.)
2. How long has this band performed at weddings at this particular facility?
3. Are all members consistent? (i.e., is the lead singer always the same?) Does the band rent itself out in parts — for example, is there a horn section that is not included in the package plan price?
4. How many in the group actually sing? (Having both a male and female vocalist is a nice plus. This gives you more range in selecting your dance music.)
5. Is there a vidéocassette or audiocassette available for your consideration?
6. Who is the emcee? What is the sales rep's opinion of the emcee's presentation and personality?
7. What will be the band's attire?
8. Will they play prerecorded music during breaks?
9. Will they learn any specific music they don't already know, if given adequate time? (If the answer is yes, you will probably have to provide them with the sheet music for any special song you want performed at your wedding.)
10. Is there any place you can see this band perform live? Often these bands will work lounges and nightclubs outside the wedding season. It may even be possible for you to hear the band performing at the function facility. But in such a case, remember to dress nicely and remain outside of the banquet room.
11. What is their policy and fee for overtime?
12. What happens if a band member becomes ill, or has an emergency on your wedding day?
13. What is the dollar amount subtracted from the package plan should you elect not to use the band?
If a DJ is offered through the package plan, many of the same questions apply as for a band:
1. What is the name of the DJ and how many hours are included in the package plan price?
2. How long has this DJ emceed weddings at this particular facility?
3. Is the DJ always the same, or is it an agency that sends out different emcees?
4. Is there a vidéocassette for you to consider?
5. What is the sales rep's opinion of his or her presentation and personality? (If the DJs are being sent through an agency, perhaps your sales rep could check and see if a particular "favorite" might be available on your wedding date.)
6. What would be the DJ's attire? Does he or she bring an assistant? If so, what does the assistant wear?
7. Does the DJ play prerecorded music during breaks? (This may seem like a terribly foolish question, but ask anyway. There are still a few disc jockeys out there who work exclusively with turntables and 45s!)
8. Is there a place in which to see the DJ perform live? (You may be able to attend a performance at a wedding at the function facility. But remember to dress nicely and remain outside of the banquet room.)
9. What are the policy and fees for overtime?
10. What happens if the DJ becomes ill or has an emergency on your wedding day?
11. What is the dollar amount subtracted from the package plan should you elect not to use the DJ?
Non-Package Plan Music
Quite a few facilities have deleted music from their package plans, based on cost alone. So, if you don't know of a band or DJ that is especially good for weddings, your sales rep should be able to give you some positive suggestions. On the other hand, if you already have a band or DJ contracted to do your wedding, ask your sales rep if the band or DJ can check out the facility for acoustics, loading access, etc. This is also a good time to ask if the facility has any policies regarding bands or DJs that you hire on your own. For further assistance when you must locate your own band or DJ, please see the guide.
Feeding the Band and/or DJ
This is a special courtesy you should seriously consider if your budget allows. Of course, if you are paying an all-inclusive package plan price which includes the cost of the band or DJ, you should not be expected to pay the entire amount to feed them.
Ask your sales rep what the cost of each meal, without all the package plan "frills," would be with tax and gratuity added, or get a quote on sandwiches and soft drinks, or any other meal idea you or the sales rep may have for such a situation.
You needn't place the band members or DJ at a guest table unless you
are personally acquainted with them and wish to include them in the festivities. Most performers prefer to take their breaks away from the crowd, anyway. It allows them a few minutes of peace and quiet without being bombarded with song requests.
Setting Your Wedding Budget: Who Pays For What?
Now we women are not going to kid ourselves. Prom the moment our hearts knew we were with the men of our dreams, we secretly began to plan our weddings. We've thumbed through endless bridal magazines for that oh-so-perfect dress, and we've envisioned just which of our childhood friends and family would stand witness to our oh-so-perfect day. But now the truth of it all is staring you in the face. These dreams are going to cost money.
Who Pays For What?
Back in the days of Father Knows Best, father paid for almost every aspect of his darling daughter's wedding. But in these modern and somewhat economically strained times, wedding costs are now very often covered by three "teams" — you and your fiance, your parents, and your fiance's i parents. For the sake of tradition, here is what is normally covered and by whom:
The Bride's Family
* Announcements and invitations
* The wedding gown and related accessories
* Trousseau
* The bridesmaids' luncheon or social party
* Photography
* Rentals and related fees for the church or ceremony site
* Clergy's fees
* Musicians and vocalists at the ceremony
* Flowers for the ceremony and reception sites
* Flowers for the bridesmaids and boutonnières for the ushers
* Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers
* Limousine transportation
* All aspects of the reception: food, beverages, flowers, entertainment, rentals, gratuities, and all related costs
* The groom's wedding ring
* Gifts for the bridesmaids
* Hotel accommodations for out-of-town bridesmaids
The Groom's Family
* The rehearsal dinner
* The marriage license
* The bride's engagement and wedding ring
* The bride's flowers
* Gifts for the best man and ushers
* Hotel accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen
* Wedding night suite for the bride and groom
* The honeymoon
Once again, this is just a guideline. You will know best what pertains to your particular family situation. Are either your parents or your fiance's parents divorced? Are either of you devoted to a stepparent? Traditionally, your natural parents act as hosts on your wedding day, but only you and your fiance can dictate what is easiest in your case and will make everyone — or almost everyone — happy.
My personal suggestion is that you and your fiance should privately discuss the type of wedding you both would like to have. Then bring these ideas to your parents. Anyone you allow to make a major financial contribution should have some say in the festivities. So now is the time to either learn compromise or do without your parents' money for your wedding. The choice is yours.
The first step in knowing how much your wedding will cost involves estimating how many guests will be invited.
When each set of parents makes a financial contribution equal to yours, the total number of allotted guests should be divided by three. In this way, any team wishing to invite more than their allotted number of guests would simply pay the additional costs. This is by far the fairest method. But for now, each team should make a complete list of everyone they would like to invite. You and your fiance, your parents, and his parents should all sit down and independently make a list. Don't leave out your favorite cousin Cathy just because you think your parents are going to list her. And if a friend or relative is single and unattached, write "and guest" next to that person's name. For one, things can change. And two, every wedding guest list grows larger as the day draws near. It's better to know now what that full list is going to cost you.
Next, alphabetize your lists and compare. Once you have deleted any duplications, you will have a good idea of the maximum number of people to quote when pricing out your reception costs.
Don't worry if the number on one list greatly outweighs the others. These things have a tendency of working themselves out in the long run.
Who Pays For What?
Back in the days of Father Knows Best, father paid for almost every aspect of his darling daughter's wedding. But in these modern and somewhat economically strained times, wedding costs are now very often covered by three "teams" — you and your fiance, your parents, and your fiance's i parents. For the sake of tradition, here is what is normally covered and by whom:
The Bride's Family
* Announcements and invitations
* The wedding gown and related accessories
* Trousseau
* The bridesmaids' luncheon or social party
* Photography
* Rentals and related fees for the church or ceremony site
* Clergy's fees
* Musicians and vocalists at the ceremony
* Flowers for the ceremony and reception sites
* Flowers for the bridesmaids and boutonnières for the ushers
* Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers
* Limousine transportation
* All aspects of the reception: food, beverages, flowers, entertainment, rentals, gratuities, and all related costs
* The groom's wedding ring
* Gifts for the bridesmaids
* Hotel accommodations for out-of-town bridesmaids
The Groom's Family
* The rehearsal dinner
* The marriage license
* The bride's engagement and wedding ring
* The bride's flowers
* Gifts for the best man and ushers
* Hotel accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen
* Wedding night suite for the bride and groom
* The honeymoon
Once again, this is just a guideline. You will know best what pertains to your particular family situation. Are either your parents or your fiance's parents divorced? Are either of you devoted to a stepparent? Traditionally, your natural parents act as hosts on your wedding day, but only you and your fiance can dictate what is easiest in your case and will make everyone — or almost everyone — happy.
My personal suggestion is that you and your fiance should privately discuss the type of wedding you both would like to have. Then bring these ideas to your parents. Anyone you allow to make a major financial contribution should have some say in the festivities. So now is the time to either learn compromise or do without your parents' money for your wedding. The choice is yours.
The first step in knowing how much your wedding will cost involves estimating how many guests will be invited.
When each set of parents makes a financial contribution equal to yours, the total number of allotted guests should be divided by three. In this way, any team wishing to invite more than their allotted number of guests would simply pay the additional costs. This is by far the fairest method. But for now, each team should make a complete list of everyone they would like to invite. You and your fiance, your parents, and his parents should all sit down and independently make a list. Don't leave out your favorite cousin Cathy just because you think your parents are going to list her. And if a friend or relative is single and unattached, write "and guest" next to that person's name. For one, things can change. And two, every wedding guest list grows larger as the day draws near. It's better to know now what that full list is going to cost you.
Next, alphabetize your lists and compare. Once you have deleted any duplications, you will have a good idea of the maximum number of people to quote when pricing out your reception costs.
Don't worry if the number on one list greatly outweighs the others. These things have a tendency of working themselves out in the long run.
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