Monday, June 1, 2009

Wedding Planning Guide: Invitations & Announcements (Part I)

Q. When should invitations be ordered?
A. As soon as you have confirmed dates and times for both the ceremony and the reception.

Q. How far in advance of the wedding are invitations sent?
A. Approximately ten days to three weeks for an informal wedding and four to six weeks for a formal one.

Q. What is the traditional style of an invitation?
A. Traditional invitations are engraved or thermo-graphed on the first page of a double sheet of ivory, white or soft cream heavy paper. The paper may be flat or have a raised margin (called a plate mark or panel). Separate invitations to the reception are engraved on small, stiff cards appropriate in size to the size of the wedding ceremony invitation.

Q. Should the style of the invitation match the formality of the wedding?
A. Yes. All the elements of your wedding should be consistent for a smooth and harmonious atmosphere. The invitations set the tone of the ceremony. If youhave decided upon a traditional wedding you should use the formal, third-person-style invitation. If you are being married on a beach at dawn with a buffet breakfast to follow, your invitations might be a poem illustrated with shells.

Q. What is the traditional wording and spelling for a wedding invitation?
A. Some of the specific rules for formal wedding invitations are as follows:
The invitation to the wedding ceremony reads: "requests the honour (spelled with a & ) of your presence. ..."

The invitation to the reception, when not an enclosed card saying "reception following the ceremony," reads: "requests the pleasure of your company. ..."

Invitations to a Roman Catholic ceremony may replace the phrase "at the marriage of" with "at the marriage in Christ of." They may also add, beneath the groom's name, "and your participation in the offering of the nuptial mass."

If the invitation includes the handwritten name of the recipient, the full name must be written out. The use of an initial—"Mr. and Mrs. James B. Simpson"—is not correct.

No punctuation is used except after abbreviations, such as "Mr.," "Mrs.," etc., or when phrases requiring separation occur in the same line, as in the date.

Numbers and dates are spelled out, but long numbers in the street address may be written in numerals.
Half hours are written as "half after four," never "half past four" or "4:30 P.M." or "four-thirty P.M."

"Doctor" is written in full, but "Mr." is never written "Mister." "Junior" may be written in full, although "Jr." is preferred.

No words are capitalized except those that would be ordinarily, such as people's names and titles, place names and names of the day and month.

The year does not have to be included on wedding invitations, but usually is on announcements since they may be sent long after the wedding takes place.

The invitation to the wedding ceremony alone does not include an R.S.V.P.
On the reception invitation, "R.S.V.P.," "R.s.v.p." and "The favour of a reply is requested" are equally correct. If the address to which the reply is sent differs from that which appears in the invitation, it is also correct to use "kindly send reply to," followed by the correct address.

Q. What is the correct form for an invitation to the wedding ceremony only?
A. The most formal wedding invitation, rarely seentoday, has the name(s') of the recipient(s) written by hand:
Doctor and Mrs. John Huntington Smith request the honour of
presence at the marriage of their daughter Millicent Jane to
Mr. James Edward Pope Saturday, the first of November at twelve o 'clock St. John's Church
R.S. V.P.

An equally correct and more commonly used form is:
Doctor and Mrs. John Huntington Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter [etc. ]

Q. Our guest list for the ceremony is larger than for the reception. Do we need a separate invitation to the reception?
A. Yes, in this case a separate reception card is enclosed with the invitation to the ceremony. The following example shows the most commonly used form.
Reception Immediately following the Ceremony Knolls Country Club Lake Forest
The favour of a reply is requested Lakeside Drive, Lake Forest, Illinois

Q. What is the correct form for a single invitation to both the wedding ceremony and the reception?
A. The card described above may be used when every guest is invited to the reception, but it is more common and less expensive to issue a combined invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Gordon .request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Anne Marie to Mr. David Mahoney, Junior Saturday, the twelfth of June at three o'clock Church of the Resurrection Ridgemont, New York and afterward at the reception Two Springdale Lane
R.S. V.P.

Q. How should a wedding invitation be worded when . . .
. . . the groom's family gives'the wedding?
A. Mr. and Mrs. John Henry Pater
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Miss Marie Dubois to
their son John Henry Pater, Junior [etc. ]

Q. . . . the groom's family is co-hosting the wedding?
A. Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Coleman
and
Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Golden request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of Barbara Jill Coleman and Andrew Golden [etc. ]

Q. . . . the bride has only one living parent?
A. Mrs. Albert Cass eta
requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter [etc.]
or
Mr. Albert Casseta requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of his daughter [etc. ]

Q. . . . the bride has a stepfather?
A. If her own father has had no part in her life, and her stepfather has brought her up, the invitation reads:
Mr. and Mrs. Bruce Denoyer request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Francine Ann Colby [etc. ]
If the bride's mother has been widowed or divorced and has recently remarried, the invitation reads as follows.
Mr. and Mrs. Bruce Denoyer request the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter [or, Mrs. Denoyer's daughter] Francine Ann Colby [etc. ]

Q. . . . the bride's mother and father are divorced and only the mother is giving the wedding?
A. Mrs. Virginia Barnes requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter [etc.]

Q. . . . the bride's divorced and remarried parents are

giving the wedding together?
A. The bride's mother's name appears first:
Mr. and Mrs. Paul Kassay and Mr. and Mrs. George Cook request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Prudence Jean Cook [etc. ]

Q. . . . the bride has no living family?
A. If the wedding is given by friends, the invitationreads:
Mr. and Mrs. John Baxter request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Miss Elizabeth Murray to
Mr. Henry Fordham [etc.]
If the bride and groom send out their own invitations, they would read:
The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Miss Elizabeth Murray to
Mr. Henry Fordham [etc. ]
or
Miss Elizabeth Murray and
Mr. Henry Fordham request the honour of your presence at their marriage {etc. ]
The other possibility would be that the bridegroom's family would give the wedding, in which case the wording is the same as shown above.

Q. . . . the bride is a young widow or divorcee?
A. Invitations may be sent by her parents exactly as were the invitations to her first marriage. The only difference is that both her maiden and married names are used:
Doctor and Mrs. Maynard Banks request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Priscilla Banks Loring [etc. ]

Q. . . . the groom is in the military?
A. If his rank is below Lieutenant Commander in the Navy or Coast Guard or Major in the Army, Air Force or Marine Corps, his name is given this way:
Robert Armand Ensign, United States Navy
Officers of the ranks stated above or higher have the title oh the same line as their names and the service below:
Colonel Adam Manville United States Air Force
In the case of reserve officers on active duty, the second line would read, "Army of the United States" or "United States Naval Reserve."
First and second lieutenants in the Army both use "Lieutenant" without the numeral.
A noncommissioned officer or enlisted man may have his rank and his branch of the service below his name or not, as he wishes:
John Philip Jones United States Air Force

Q. . . . the bride is in the military?
A. A bride who is in the service usually does not use her title, although she may if she wishes to. The invitation would read:
Claire Mandel Lieutenant, United States Army

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