Although we prefer the old-fashioned "girls only" showers (hanging out with girlfriends is cathartic, and it lends to our mystique), many people nowadays insist on inviting both men and women to bridal showers. If this is really what you want, then fine, but keep in mind that most men just don't really appreciate the ritual. If you do opt for a co-ed shower, try to gear the shower theme and games toward something both the women and men will appreciate. A Victorian tea makes for a beautiful shower, but very few guys can comfortably hold a teacup.
Whether you decide to have a co-ed shower or a shower for "girls only," having a theme can make a party more personal and add charm as well as provide you with a general guideline for decorations and games. There is no limit to the kinds of shower you can throw; most important, a theme that is chosen to reflect the couple's interests and tastes will guarantee gifts they can use. The following is a list of common, and not-so-common themes.
Wishing Well. This is the most traditional of themes and is also often used as an accompaniment to another theme. We like to think of this as a "gadget" shower because it calls for guests to bring a small secondary gift—a gadget—that the couple can use in their kitchen or home. The gadgets (which can be marked with the guests' names, or not) are placed in a small fake well covered in cheap-looking lace or crepe paper (why this design has caught on is beyond us). After the bride opens her other gifts, she opens the treats in the well. That's it. That's the whole theme. The point is to buy little things she won't think to buy but are useful, such as a flashlight, corn holders, a garlic peeler, a mushroom scrubber, an egg timer, a meat thermometer, a melon bailer, or a vegetable peeler.
Time-of-Day Shower. For this shower theme, each guest is assigned a different time of day (7:00 a.m., 8:00 a.m., 9:00 a.m., and so on) and is supposed to bring a gift that is useful at that hour or reflects the mood of that time of day. It's okay, if you have a lot of guests, to break times into half-hour intervals. This is a great way to ensure that the bride will receive gifts she can use throughout the day. Interesting sample gifts:
7:00 a.m.—massaging shower head
8:00 a.m.—-egg cups, breakfast-in-bed tray
9:00 a.m.—cereal bowls, coffeemaker
10:00 a.m.—toaster oven
11:00 a.m.—newspaper subscription
12:00 noon—breadbox
1:00 p.m.—picnic basket
2:00 p.m.-—videotape of Love in the Afternoon starring Audrey
Hepburn and Gary Cooper 3:00 p.m.—afghan throw (nap time) 4:00 p.m.—tea kettle
5:00 p.m.—a foot massager (long day, aching feet) 6:00 p.m.—one or more settings of the registered dinnerware 7:00 p.m.—pizza stone with all of the fixin's (pizza cutter, recipes)
8:00 p.m.—wine glasses
9:00 p.m.'—brandy glasses
10:00 p.m.—universal remote for the television
11:00 p.m.—lingerie, sex toys (don't forget batteries)
12:00 midnight—popcorn popper (for late-night munchies)
Kitchen Shower. If the bride or groom loves to cook, this is a great idea. Guests bring gifts for the kitchen: pots, pans, griddles, icecream makers, waffle irons, place settings, cookbooks, baskets of utensils, and so on.
Around-the-House Shower. Each guest is assigned a different room in the house and brings a gift for that room. This will vary the type of gifts the bride receives.
Lingerie Shower. (Is the mother of the bride going to be there?)
Linen Shower. Guests bring bed linens, towels, and so on, as gifts. Before you throw this kind of shower as a theme, check the bride's registry to see if she has requested this stuff. If she hasn't, stay away from this theme; chances are she'll want to pick her own linens.
Time-of-Year Shower. Assign each guest a month and have them bring gifts that reflect their designated months. This is also a good theme for decorations; you can decorate the tables in different seasons. Gift ideas include: February, lingerie; June, an iced-tea pitcher and tumblers; October, an afghan or wool blanket; December, a cappuccino maker and/or mugs.
Seasonal Shower. Same as the Time-of-Year Shower, but broken down by seasons—spring, summer, fall, winter.
Hobby Shower. Everyone brings gifts that reflect the couple's favorite hobbies or activities. If the couple is extremely active, gifts could range from one-year memberships at a health club to home free weights. Are they an outdoorsy kind of couple? Try camping stuff (such as tents, a hibachi, mess kits, and so on). A hammock can remind them to enjoy some quiet time together.
Scrapbook Shower. Along with miscellaneous gifts, guests bring either a scrap of something they shared with the bride—such as ticket stubs or an old picture—or a written anecdote about the bride. Everyone saves this kind of junk; some pretty wonderful stuff will turn up. During the shower, everyone pastes her scrap or anecdote into a scrapbook for the bride to keep.
Recipe Shower. Everyone brings, along with her gift, a favorite recipe. Collect them in a recipe file for the bride to keep. This can be done in conjunction with the Kitchen Shower.
Invent some of your own! Shower themes can be personalized to encompass anything, from the location of the honeymoon (a Hawaiian theme) to how the couple met (Gym theme). Decorate accordingly and you're off!
SHOWER GAMES
Okay, so the guests have come from all corners of the state and even farther, lugging large, expensive gifts. Are you going to have them just sit around eating and ooMng and ahhing while the bride opens her gifts? Boring! That's why the bridal shower game was created—so that we can inject a little flavor into this redundant ritual and tease the bride at the same time, all in the name of good old-fashioned fun. Some ideas for shower games and activities include the following:
The Bridal-Gown Game. Hostesses provide lots of rolls of toilet paper. Guests get assigned to groups of four and each group gets one roll of toilet paper. Each group selects a model; they proceed to design a wedding gown and headpiece for her made out of toilet paper. No tape or glue is allowed. Then there is a fashion show and the bride chooses the best gown. Each person in that group wins a prize. (See the list of suggested prizes).
The Clothespin Game. This traditional game has been around forever. When each guest arrives, she gets a clothespin put on her sleeve. The guests are instructed that they are not allowed to cross their legs during the party. Whoever catches someone else crossing her legs gets the offender's clothespin. If that person has several clothespins, the person who caught her claims them all. The point is to collect as many as possible. The woman with the most pins at the end of the shower wins a prize.
The Roast. Guests are asked to come prepared with little pieces of poetry or anecdotes about the bride to read aloud at the shower. This game can get ugly, however.
The Wedding-Night Game. Another traditional game is for one of the bridesmaids to secretly write down each exclamation or remark made by the bride as she opens each gift. After all of the gifts are opened, the remarks are read to the guests as the things she is going to say on her wedding night. The responses range from "OOOOOO" and "AAAaaahhhh" to "I'm so excited" or "Oh, it's so beautiful." You get the point. Another twist on this inane, yet somehow pretty entertaining ritual is to add the words "under the sheets" after each remark. (Personally, we don't think this is as funny.)
The Trivia Quiz. Ahead of time, a sheet of questions about the couple, some of which are about things that can only be guessed, is prepared and copies are made. At the shower, the quiz sheets are distributed to the guests. Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins. Since the. bride knows the answers, she is the judge. Here are some sample questions we think will get the party rolling:
1. Where did the bride and groom meet?
2. The groom is a ____ man.
a) leg b) breast c) butt d) other
3. What does the bride like best about the groom?
4. The couple's first date was where?
5. The couple's first trip together was to where?
6. What is the exact day the bride or groom proposed?
7. What is the groom's favorite activity or hobby?
8. What is the bride's favorite activity or hobby?
9. What kind of birth control does the couple use?
10. If the groom were a fruit, what would he be? Why?
Note: (Of course, the more shockable the guests—such as Great-gramma Flo and her 70-year-old spinster daughter—the tamer the questions should be.)
Suggested prizes. "Door prizes," as they are commonly known, are a great way to provide a little incentive and introduce some friendly competition into a shower game. They are also nice tokens of the shower for the victors and they don't have to be expensive. Try small picture frames, sachets, attractive note pads, atomizers, silver-plated bookmarks, a small plant, and so on.
Showing posts with label Shower. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shower. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Bridesmaid's Guide: The Bridal Shower
Advancement within the military institution often points to great success in domestic politics. Ruthlessness and cunning are qualities required for both. Hence, in a reciprocally beneficial relationship, one often glorifies and aggrandizes the other.
The bridal shower is the most well known, and the most feared, of the bridesmaid's responsibilities. The tradition is believed to date back several centuries to Holland, where a young woman was deprived of her customary dowry because her father disapproved of her marriage to a poor miller. Supportive friends and villagers "showered" her with gifts for her new household. Perhaps the Dutch bride received plates, cookware, and a farm animal or two; the gifts certainly reflected the community's intent to give the new bride what she most needed to set up her own home. Such is still the tradition today.
Unlike the straightforward bridal showers of yesteryear, today we attempt to dress up the objective by playing silly games and telling embarrassing stories about the bride's past. We provide the guests with a little entertainment before we thank them graciously for their gifts and send them on their way. The prime directive of showers past and present has remained the same: people get together to give the bride lots of useful loot so she can feather her nest. Rather than villagers banding together, it is now obligatory for the bridesmaids to sponsor this event and solicit gifts on the bride's behalf.
Throwing a bridal shower is a time-consuming and costly venture. For some brides, this is the most important pre-wedding event. Not only do you need to satisfy your own sense of duty by throwing a beautiful party you can be proud of, but you have to take into consideration the bride's expectations of what a shower should be. If she's a sweet, old-fashioned girl who is fond of coordinating her headband to her purse, you should think twice before throwing the shower at your favorite local barbecue joint. Remember, this shower is for her; you may have to compromise your personal style a bit to plan an event you'll both remember fondly. Does this mean that when you plan Buffy's shower you must outshine her coming-out party at the Waldorf-Astoria, sacrificing yourself to the great Visa god? Absolutely not! You can throw all kinds of perfectly wonderful (and tasteful) bridal showers to complement a variety of tastes and still have enough money left over to pay your phone bill.
Superstitions: It's good luck if the first gift the bride-to-be opens is the first gift she uses.
PLANNING THE EVENT
Traditionally, the maid of honor and/or the bridesmaids throw the shower a month or more before the wedding, but very often a relative or the mother of the bride or groom will want to be involved in the planning as well. Although etiquette frowns on an immediate family member hosting the shower, the sad truth is that it can be difficult to recruit assistance for this task. Accept the volunteers who come forward, regardless of blood ties. If you're a woman with a career and a personal life, you'll welcome the extra hands. Have you heard the old tale about the hen who asks everyone in town to help her bake bread and doesn't find a willing participant until the bread emerges fresh from the oven? Planning a party is similar: everyone wants to savor the fruits of your labor, but no one wants to contribute time, energy, or dough. Manners mavens may be sticklers for the rule that bans mothers and sisters from sending the invitations, but we believe that nowadays, with so many brides marrying later in life and paying for their weddings independently, the immediate family's involvement is acceptable. If Mrs. Lowenstein insists on footing the bill when you plan the shower, and you're struggling to make your next car payment, take her up on her offer. Your friend won't love you any less and you won't go broke. Just be sure that Mrs. L. is going to let you plan the shower; accepting money can be a tricky business. Oftentimes, inflexible opinions accompany financial support. If Mrs. L's money has strings attached that are going to cause you migraines, make do with the money you collect from the other bridesmaids along with what you can contribute yourself.
The following advice has been designed to guide you through the bridal-shower planning process and will help you plan an event you and your fellow attendants can be proud of.
Superstitions: The giver of the first or seventh gift opened will be the next one married.
Six months before the shower, start planning. Get together with the other bridesmaids and the maid of honor to discuss the basics of the shower. The maid of honor should head up this effort, but don't wait for her to call. If you don't hear from her by at least four months before the wedding, contact her. If everyone lives in the same town, get together for lunch, dinner, or margaritas to discuss ideas for the shower. When all the attendants are old friends, organizing the shower can be a breeze; but five women who have no relationship to one another other than a shared mutual friendship with the bride may not readily cooperate with one another. In fact, the fur can fly. Remember that this shower is for someone you are all close to and it doesn't matter if you still blame Jodi for stealing the bride's previous boyfriend. She's forgiven Jodi and moved on (clearly!) and so should you. Now is not the appropriate time for grudges. Resist the temptation of cattiness and focus- on the primary objective: an outstanding shower for your friend. Besides, there's plenty of time to verbally bash the offending party after the reception.
Superstitions: The giver of the third gift opened will be the next to have a baby.
Define your budget. Whether you're one person or twelve, the budget is the single biggest determinant for the style of shower you will throw. A dinner party is more lavish and expensive. A brunch or tea is also quite elegant, but will be a fraction of the cost. Knowing how much money everyone has to spend will help you make this decision. While it is the maid of honor's duty to head up the efforts behind the shower, you are expected, unless otherwise stated, to contribute both financially and otherwise to the event. When "the sky's the limit," terrific. But in most cases, pooling resources is the best way to put together a great party as inexpensively as possible. Creativity and friendship, more than money, produce the best shower.
If you are throwing the shower alone, consider any resources that may be available to you (your parents' home, a bride's relative's home, your own apartment, and so on) and set a firm budget.
One maid of honor we know found herself hosting an enormous shower just because the bride's mother had handed her an extensive guest list. Not only did she find herself stuck with the bill, but she was unable to pay her bills that month and her phone was shut off. She was so outraged that she refused to speak to the bride after the wedding; they are no longer friends.
The only person this attendant really had to blame was herself. Don't think that because you're a bridesmaid, you have to throw some elaborate affair because the mother of the bride wants you to (unless of course she's paying for it)—and don't be strong-armed into it. While you should plan an event which will reflect your fabulous taste and your feelings for the bride, a gracious bride will be pleased with any effort you make, no matter how inexpensive. If she's not, she's not much of a friend.
What can you do when confronted by an overbearing mother of the bride? Take a stand. We don't suggest throwing a temper tantrum, but you should explain, in no uncertain terms, that you have a fixed budget of X dollars and that you and the other attendants have already decided upon the kind of shower you will be throwing, as well as the guest limit. Don't Apologize. Outline your limits and make it clear that while it would certainly be lovely to throw a shower at the most expensive restaurant in town, unfortunately it's not within your budget. Don't be afraid to remind her tactfully that a bridal shower is a present for your friend and although it is traditional, technically it is not obligatory (believe it or not). The shower is your gift to the bride. The bride's mother wouldn't insist on helping you pick out your wedding gift for the couple, would she? A shower is a ritual expression of your concern that the bride have what she needs for her new home, and it is inexcusable for the mother of the bride to impose her standards on how you express that concern. Set your limits in the beginning, be realistic, and stick to them.
Traditions: Save the ribbons from the shower gifts and use them to make a mock bouquet for the bride-to-be to carry during the rehearsal. (See "The Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner.") After the rehearsal, the bride tosses this faux bouquet and whoever catches it will be the next to marry. (The origin of this is unclear, but it is believed that these ribbons represent the bride's fertility. We have no idea why, but who wants to argue with tradition?) Some bridesmaids collect the ribbons and use them to stuff a "good luck" pillow for the bride.
Divide up the responsibilities and expenses. The key word for a successful shower is equity. Don't assume that the matron of honor is going to foot the bill just because she's a Kennedy twice removed. It's not fair for one person to be expected to contribute $500 while someone else only puts in $50, just because she has more money—unless, of course, she offers. If someone is severely strapped for cash, she can contribute additional services, such as addressing invitations or baking the shower cake. Everyone needs to be very clear up front about what she can contribute so that no one feels that she was taken advantage of later on. If one of the bridesmaids is a phenomenal baker and another has a large space in which to throw the party, take that into account. Add up the contributions, including your budget, and you'll have your guidelines for the shower. Use the list of responsibilities to keep track of responsibilities and expenses, and divvy them up accordingly.
IMPORTANT NOTE: SAVE RECEIPTS! After the shower you can tally up your expenses and ask individuals for any unexpected, additional expenses. Discuss doing this at the onset of planning so that everyone expects it later on and is prepared. Nothing is more awkward than discussing finances with virtual strangers; the fewer surprises, the better.
Pick a date and time. The key to planning any party, big or small, is to set the time and date. The date is crucial because it gives you a goal to work for and is your first established element of the party. The time will define the style of the shower: 7:30 P.M. for cocktail party or dinner; 3:00 P.M. for a tea party; 12:00 noon for a brunch. Keep in mind that most showers are thrown anywhere from two months to three weeks before the wedding. Whether the party is a surprise or not, make sure you clear the time and date with the bride's mother and fiance. You don't want to go through the trouble of planning the shower only to find out that the bride will be out of town on business that weekend.
Compose the guest list. A bridal shower is a more intimate affair than a wedding; customarily, only close friends and relatives of the bride and groom should be invited. Ask the bride for a list of names and addresses, or, if it is a surprise, get lists from her mother and fiance. Keep in mind that the bride may be thrown more than one shower and try to avoid inviting people who have been invited to another shower for the same bride. If anyone—for instance, a co-worker—has already been invited to another shower, be thoughtful and make it clear to her that only her presence, not another present, is requested.
Book the venue and entertainment. Once you've decided on the time, date, and place, you need to book the space you'll need for the shower. If you are having the shower in a friend's home, obviously, this doesn't apply to you. However, if you are holding the shower in a restaurant or rented space of any kind, you need to reserve the space as early as possible. The same goes for any' entertainment you have planned, be it a piano player or a palm reader. You don't want to send out 40 invitations and then find out that the restaurant where you were planning to hold the shower isn't available.
Superstitions: Folklore says that the number of ribbons the bride-to-be cuts while opening her gifts corresponds to the number of children she'll have.
ТHE TIMETABLE
Once you have the aforementioned basics set, you're ready to begin planning the details of the shower. The following timetable will give you a general format for you to follow from three months before the shower to the moment the doorbell rings, so that you can plan your schedule, use your time efficiently, and suffer from as little stress as possible during the bridal-shower planning process.
FOUR MONTHS BEFORE
THREE MONTHS BEFORE
SIX WEEKS BEFORE
ONE MONTH BEFORE
THREE WEEKS BEFORE
TWO WEEKS BEFORE
THE DAY OF THE EVENT
Money-Saving Tips
The bridal shower is the most well known, and the most feared, of the bridesmaid's responsibilities. The tradition is believed to date back several centuries to Holland, where a young woman was deprived of her customary dowry because her father disapproved of her marriage to a poor miller. Supportive friends and villagers "showered" her with gifts for her new household. Perhaps the Dutch bride received plates, cookware, and a farm animal or two; the gifts certainly reflected the community's intent to give the new bride what she most needed to set up her own home. Such is still the tradition today.
Unlike the straightforward bridal showers of yesteryear, today we attempt to dress up the objective by playing silly games and telling embarrassing stories about the bride's past. We provide the guests with a little entertainment before we thank them graciously for their gifts and send them on their way. The prime directive of showers past and present has remained the same: people get together to give the bride lots of useful loot so she can feather her nest. Rather than villagers banding together, it is now obligatory for the bridesmaids to sponsor this event and solicit gifts on the bride's behalf.
Throwing a bridal shower is a time-consuming and costly venture. For some brides, this is the most important pre-wedding event. Not only do you need to satisfy your own sense of duty by throwing a beautiful party you can be proud of, but you have to take into consideration the bride's expectations of what a shower should be. If she's a sweet, old-fashioned girl who is fond of coordinating her headband to her purse, you should think twice before throwing the shower at your favorite local barbecue joint. Remember, this shower is for her; you may have to compromise your personal style a bit to plan an event you'll both remember fondly. Does this mean that when you plan Buffy's shower you must outshine her coming-out party at the Waldorf-Astoria, sacrificing yourself to the great Visa god? Absolutely not! You can throw all kinds of perfectly wonderful (and tasteful) bridal showers to complement a variety of tastes and still have enough money left over to pay your phone bill.
Superstitions: It's good luck if the first gift the bride-to-be opens is the first gift she uses.
PLANNING THE EVENT
Traditionally, the maid of honor and/or the bridesmaids throw the shower a month or more before the wedding, but very often a relative or the mother of the bride or groom will want to be involved in the planning as well. Although etiquette frowns on an immediate family member hosting the shower, the sad truth is that it can be difficult to recruit assistance for this task. Accept the volunteers who come forward, regardless of blood ties. If you're a woman with a career and a personal life, you'll welcome the extra hands. Have you heard the old tale about the hen who asks everyone in town to help her bake bread and doesn't find a willing participant until the bread emerges fresh from the oven? Planning a party is similar: everyone wants to savor the fruits of your labor, but no one wants to contribute time, energy, or dough. Manners mavens may be sticklers for the rule that bans mothers and sisters from sending the invitations, but we believe that nowadays, with so many brides marrying later in life and paying for their weddings independently, the immediate family's involvement is acceptable. If Mrs. Lowenstein insists on footing the bill when you plan the shower, and you're struggling to make your next car payment, take her up on her offer. Your friend won't love you any less and you won't go broke. Just be sure that Mrs. L. is going to let you plan the shower; accepting money can be a tricky business. Oftentimes, inflexible opinions accompany financial support. If Mrs. L's money has strings attached that are going to cause you migraines, make do with the money you collect from the other bridesmaids along with what you can contribute yourself.
The following advice has been designed to guide you through the bridal-shower planning process and will help you plan an event you and your fellow attendants can be proud of.
Superstitions: The giver of the first or seventh gift opened will be the next one married.
Six months before the shower, start planning. Get together with the other bridesmaids and the maid of honor to discuss the basics of the shower. The maid of honor should head up this effort, but don't wait for her to call. If you don't hear from her by at least four months before the wedding, contact her. If everyone lives in the same town, get together for lunch, dinner, or margaritas to discuss ideas for the shower. When all the attendants are old friends, organizing the shower can be a breeze; but five women who have no relationship to one another other than a shared mutual friendship with the bride may not readily cooperate with one another. In fact, the fur can fly. Remember that this shower is for someone you are all close to and it doesn't matter if you still blame Jodi for stealing the bride's previous boyfriend. She's forgiven Jodi and moved on (clearly!) and so should you. Now is not the appropriate time for grudges. Resist the temptation of cattiness and focus- on the primary objective: an outstanding shower for your friend. Besides, there's plenty of time to verbally bash the offending party after the reception.
Superstitions: The giver of the third gift opened will be the next to have a baby.
Define your budget. Whether you're one person or twelve, the budget is the single biggest determinant for the style of shower you will throw. A dinner party is more lavish and expensive. A brunch or tea is also quite elegant, but will be a fraction of the cost. Knowing how much money everyone has to spend will help you make this decision. While it is the maid of honor's duty to head up the efforts behind the shower, you are expected, unless otherwise stated, to contribute both financially and otherwise to the event. When "the sky's the limit," terrific. But in most cases, pooling resources is the best way to put together a great party as inexpensively as possible. Creativity and friendship, more than money, produce the best shower.
If you are throwing the shower alone, consider any resources that may be available to you (your parents' home, a bride's relative's home, your own apartment, and so on) and set a firm budget.
One maid of honor we know found herself hosting an enormous shower just because the bride's mother had handed her an extensive guest list. Not only did she find herself stuck with the bill, but she was unable to pay her bills that month and her phone was shut off. She was so outraged that she refused to speak to the bride after the wedding; they are no longer friends.
The only person this attendant really had to blame was herself. Don't think that because you're a bridesmaid, you have to throw some elaborate affair because the mother of the bride wants you to (unless of course she's paying for it)—and don't be strong-armed into it. While you should plan an event which will reflect your fabulous taste and your feelings for the bride, a gracious bride will be pleased with any effort you make, no matter how inexpensive. If she's not, she's not much of a friend.
What can you do when confronted by an overbearing mother of the bride? Take a stand. We don't suggest throwing a temper tantrum, but you should explain, in no uncertain terms, that you have a fixed budget of X dollars and that you and the other attendants have already decided upon the kind of shower you will be throwing, as well as the guest limit. Don't Apologize. Outline your limits and make it clear that while it would certainly be lovely to throw a shower at the most expensive restaurant in town, unfortunately it's not within your budget. Don't be afraid to remind her tactfully that a bridal shower is a present for your friend and although it is traditional, technically it is not obligatory (believe it or not). The shower is your gift to the bride. The bride's mother wouldn't insist on helping you pick out your wedding gift for the couple, would she? A shower is a ritual expression of your concern that the bride have what she needs for her new home, and it is inexcusable for the mother of the bride to impose her standards on how you express that concern. Set your limits in the beginning, be realistic, and stick to them.
Traditions: Save the ribbons from the shower gifts and use them to make a mock bouquet for the bride-to-be to carry during the rehearsal. (See "The Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner.") After the rehearsal, the bride tosses this faux bouquet and whoever catches it will be the next to marry. (The origin of this is unclear, but it is believed that these ribbons represent the bride's fertility. We have no idea why, but who wants to argue with tradition?) Some bridesmaids collect the ribbons and use them to stuff a "good luck" pillow for the bride.
Divide up the responsibilities and expenses. The key word for a successful shower is equity. Don't assume that the matron of honor is going to foot the bill just because she's a Kennedy twice removed. It's not fair for one person to be expected to contribute $500 while someone else only puts in $50, just because she has more money—unless, of course, she offers. If someone is severely strapped for cash, she can contribute additional services, such as addressing invitations or baking the shower cake. Everyone needs to be very clear up front about what she can contribute so that no one feels that she was taken advantage of later on. If one of the bridesmaids is a phenomenal baker and another has a large space in which to throw the party, take that into account. Add up the contributions, including your budget, and you'll have your guidelines for the shower. Use the list of responsibilities to keep track of responsibilities and expenses, and divvy them up accordingly.
Traditions: In some regions of the country, it is customary for one of the bridesmaids to volunteer to make a hat for the bride-to-be out of the discarded gift wrappings. Cardboard from a box top usually makes up the base of the hat; a small sample from each gift is used (either the ribbon or a scrap of wrapping paper). This practice takes a little more dexterity than making a faux ribbon bouquet, but the hat then serves as a sort of "good luck" memento for the bride. Usually the bridesmaids make her wear the "garbage" (as Murphy Brown would say) on her head and then take pictures of her. We have no idea where this tradition began, but we think this may serve as some kind of insurance for the attendants, since the bride almost never gets the negatives.
Responsibilities | Projected Cost | Actual Cost |
Nonalcoholic beverages | ||
Liquor | ||
Food | ||
Salads | ||
Sandwiches | ||
Entrees | ||
Bread | ||
Munchies | ||
Crackers and cheese | ||
Vegetables and dip | ||
Dessert | ||
Location | ||
Decorations | ||
Balloons | ||
Theme decorations | ||
Candles | ||
Linens | ||
Tablecloths | ||
Napkins | ||
Cocktail napkins | ||
Rowers | ||
Flatware | ||
Servingware | ||
Glassware/cups | ||
Invitations/ postage | ||
Camera/ film | ||
Party games/theme accessories | ||
Coffee/ coffee urn | ||
Place cards | ||
Favors | ||
Cleanup goods | ||
Plastic wrap | ||
Paper towels | ||
Plastic bags | ||
Shower cake | ||
Setup | ||
Cleanup | ||
Rentals (tables, chairs, and so on) | ||
Entertainment |
IMPORTANT NOTE: SAVE RECEIPTS! After the shower you can tally up your expenses and ask individuals for any unexpected, additional expenses. Discuss doing this at the onset of planning so that everyone expects it later on and is prepared. Nothing is more awkward than discussing finances with virtual strangers; the fewer surprises, the better.
Pick a date and time. The key to planning any party, big or small, is to set the time and date. The date is crucial because it gives you a goal to work for and is your first established element of the party. The time will define the style of the shower: 7:30 P.M. for cocktail party or dinner; 3:00 P.M. for a tea party; 12:00 noon for a brunch. Keep in mind that most showers are thrown anywhere from two months to three weeks before the wedding. Whether the party is a surprise or not, make sure you clear the time and date with the bride's mother and fiance. You don't want to go through the trouble of planning the shower only to find out that the bride will be out of town on business that weekend.
Compose the guest list. A bridal shower is a more intimate affair than a wedding; customarily, only close friends and relatives of the bride and groom should be invited. Ask the bride for a list of names and addresses, or, if it is a surprise, get lists from her mother and fiance. Keep in mind that the bride may be thrown more than one shower and try to avoid inviting people who have been invited to another shower for the same bride. If anyone—for instance, a co-worker—has already been invited to another shower, be thoughtful and make it clear to her that only her presence, not another present, is requested.
Book the venue and entertainment. Once you've decided on the time, date, and place, you need to book the space you'll need for the shower. If you are having the shower in a friend's home, obviously, this doesn't apply to you. However, if you are holding the shower in a restaurant or rented space of any kind, you need to reserve the space as early as possible. The same goes for any' entertainment you have planned, be it a piano player or a palm reader. You don't want to send out 40 invitations and then find out that the restaurant where you were planning to hold the shower isn't available.
Superstitions: Folklore says that the number of ribbons the bride-to-be cuts while opening her gifts corresponds to the number of children she'll have.
ТHE TIMETABLE
Once you have the aforementioned basics set, you're ready to begin planning the details of the shower. The following timetable will give you a general format for you to follow from three months before the shower to the moment the doorbell rings, so that you can plan your schedule, use your time efficiently, and suffer from as little stress as possible during the bridal-shower planning process.
FOUR MONTHS BEFORE
- Call other bridesmaids if the planning has not yet begun.
THREE MONTHS BEFORE
- Purchase the invitations.
- Complete the invitations.
- Reserve rental equipment (tables, chairs, and so on).
SIX WEEKS BEFORE
- Address and mail the invitations.
ONE MONTH BEFORE
- Order any catered food you are planning to serve at the shower.
THREE WEEKS BEFORE
- Regroup with your co-hostesses and confirm responsibilities.
- Discuss whether there will be a gift from the bridesmaids for the bride.
- Choose an outfit!
- Follow up with any invited guests who have not responded.
- Order flowers.
TWO WEEKS BEFORE
- Confirm delivery of rental equipment.
- Purchase decorations.
- Purchase necessary theme decorations.
- Purchase your personal gift for bride and a card.
- Purchase the bridesmaids' gift for bride (optional).
- Pick up your outfit at the cleaners.
- Book a manicure appointment for the day before the shower.
- Confirm that you have all the equipment you need for the party (see the checklist).
- Check in with your co-hostesses.
- Purchase alcohol and other beverages.
- Cook anything that can be frozen.
- Stock up on ice.
- Make sure you have scissors, tape, pencils, and note pads.
- Be sure you have any necessary items for the games.
- Confirm order and delivery of any catered food.
- Begin to decorate.
- Shop for main food items.
- Clean the house (if the shower will be in your home).
- Have the alcohol delivered.
- Shop for fruits and vegetables.
- Clean fruits and vegetables in the morning.
- Iron any linens that may need it.
- Plan the music (optional).
THE DAY OF THE EVENT
- Have any catered food delivered at least one hour before the party.
- Chop vegetables and fruit.
- Lay out platters and main dishes.
- If the shower is at your home, remove the prescription or recreational drugs from your medicine cabinet.
Celebrity Trivia: Grace Kelly's seven wedding attendants gave her a bridal shower in March 1956, arranging their gifts under a yellow umbrella that matched the gowns they would be wearing at the nuptials a month later in Monaco. Mrs. Alfred Hitchcock attended.
Money-Saving Tips
- Have the shower at a home—anyone's home. It's cheaper than a restaurant.
- Make the food yourself. Catered food can get expensive. But if you can barely boil an egg, be fair to your guests and volunteer to be responsible for decorations instead. Then delegate the cooking to the other bridesmaids.
- Instead of fancy centerpieces, use inexpensive potted plants in terra-cotta pots. We recommend ivy; it's cheap and chic.
- Instead of giving fancy chocolate favors with personalized boxes, bake some cookies and brownies ahead of time and freeze them. Package them up in your own little cartons (plenty of gourmet stores sell them and they're not expensive) or pretty tissue paper. Many stores stock do-it-yourself decorating items that make even drab goods look pretty nifty.
- Other cheap favors include tiny potted plants or assortments of exotic tea bags wrapped in ribbon.
- Serve fresh berries instead of elaborate desserts.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Bridal Shower Etiquette
If you are throwing a shower, you have probably realized by now that it is not a simple task. And, if a successful party is your goal, remember these etiquette hints to make your guests feel welcome.
Who to invite?
Anyone who is invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding, aside from special circumstances such as a destination wedding. Go through the bride’s address book discussing friends and relatives whom she may want there. Don’t forget to include the groom’s family members. Several potential guests may live too far to travel for the shower, however they should be acknowledged with an invitation. They will appreciate the thought.
Invitation and registry etiquette
Similar to wedding invitations, be sure to address one invitation per person, even if they are living in the same household. Send the invitations with appropriate lead-time-about a month in advance of the shower. Enclose directions and a phone number in case people get lost.
Many choose to include the store names in which the bride and groom are registered. If you find this option ill-mannered, you may let the guests know by word-of-mouth. If you are hosting a personal shower for the bride, spread the word about the bride’s taste and clothing size.
The guests have arrived!
Though you may know everyone at the shower, some people may know few people, or possibly no one. Be sure to have a “greeter” stand post at the door to say hello to new arrivals. The greeter should tell guests where they can put their coat or belongings, their gift for the bride, and where they can find refreshments. The greeter can also make introductions if the guest is not acquainted with anyone.
Start with an icebreaker.
Select an icebreaking activity, or simply go around the room and have the guess state their name and relationship to the bride. This will initiate conversations and help people get into a festive mood.
The party is over.
Before the guests leave, be sure you have their names, addresses and the gift they brought listed so the bride may write thank you notes within the next week. Thank each guest for coming and be sure they have a safe ride home, especially if alcohol has been served at the shower.
Who to invite?
Anyone who is invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding, aside from special circumstances such as a destination wedding. Go through the bride’s address book discussing friends and relatives whom she may want there. Don’t forget to include the groom’s family members. Several potential guests may live too far to travel for the shower, however they should be acknowledged with an invitation. They will appreciate the thought.
Invitation and registry etiquette
Similar to wedding invitations, be sure to address one invitation per person, even if they are living in the same household. Send the invitations with appropriate lead-time-about a month in advance of the shower. Enclose directions and a phone number in case people get lost.
Many choose to include the store names in which the bride and groom are registered. If you find this option ill-mannered, you may let the guests know by word-of-mouth. If you are hosting a personal shower for the bride, spread the word about the bride’s taste and clothing size.
The guests have arrived!
Though you may know everyone at the shower, some people may know few people, or possibly no one. Be sure to have a “greeter” stand post at the door to say hello to new arrivals. The greeter should tell guests where they can put their coat or belongings, their gift for the bride, and where they can find refreshments. The greeter can also make introductions if the guest is not acquainted with anyone.
Start with an icebreaker.
Select an icebreaking activity, or simply go around the room and have the guess state their name and relationship to the bride. This will initiate conversations and help people get into a festive mood.
The party is over.
Before the guests leave, be sure you have their names, addresses and the gift they brought listed so the bride may write thank you notes within the next week. Thank each guest for coming and be sure they have a safe ride home, especially if alcohol has been served at the shower.
Tips for Hosting a Tea-Party Shower
Though the refined elegance of the afternoon tea party is almost a thing of the past, it remains an ideal setting for honoring a special bride in a sophisticated but relaxed manner. Warm tea, feminine décor, and light refreshments set a festive mood, and are surprisingly inexpensive.
Invitations: Any pretty, floral note cards, post cards, or invitations will do. A crafty option is buying or making note cards in the shape of teacups, cutting slits in them with a knife, and inserting a tea bag, as if it were steeping in the cup.
Refreshments: The most essential element is, of course, tea! Plan to serve punch, several different kinds of hot tea, or, if the weather is very warm, a variety of hot and iced teas. A large carafe full of hot water and an assortment of tea bags offer plenty of variety. For a more traditional and elegant look, serve tea in China pots. Don’t forget the sugar cubes, lemon slices, a cream pitcher, and honey. Tea sandwiches, though dainty-looking, are very easy to make. Salads like tuna, chicken, egg, or seafood are very popular, and can simply be spread on white bread with the crusts cut off and cut into 4 triangles, or with cookie cutters. Cucumber sandwiches, quintessential tea party fare, make a great-looking snack when I follow my grandmother’s recipe:
DILL-CUCUMBER SANDWICHES:
1 package cocktail rye bread squares
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 packet ranch seasoning
1 medium cucumber, thinly sliced
Fresh dill
Mix the ranch seasoning into cream cheese, spread mixture onto bread. Top with one slice of cucumber and a sprig of dill. Makes 15 sandwiches.
A tea party is the perfect opportunity to serve a cake complete with cake pulls, or an assortment of pretty tarts and mini-pastries. Crudities, a fruit platter, and cheese and crackers can round all of the above into a meal. For a more substantial luncheon, or fancier spread, try adding a few of the following:
Deviled eggs sprinkled with caviar
Smoked salmon
Shrimp cocktail
Mini-quiches
Baked brie
Sliced ham or turkey breast
Pate
Spanakopittes (mini spinach pies)
Mini-spring rolls
Strawberries dipped in chocolate
Décor: First and foremost, if you don’t have a tea service, you must find one. But before you go out and splurge on China, remember that a mismatched tea set is easily the most charming option for an informal shower, and if you plan to serve several different kinds of tea, you’ll be using different pots anyway! Look carefully through antique shops, flea markets, thrift stores, and sales at home stores and department stores for a few pretty, quality teapots with no cracks. If teapots aren’t “you,” they can be your gift to the bride. Consider buying a teapot that goes with the bride’s China pattern and surprise her by pouring from it at her shower. To ensure enough cups and saucers, a friend suggests this lovely tradition: have each guest bring a different teacup (new, antique, or from a family collection) to the shower to drink from. After lunch, wash and pack all the cups (don’t forget to have some newspaper handy) and present them to the bride as a gift.
The tea service and refreshments will be the focal point of the party, so take your cues from the patterns and colors you find in the China. White or floral linens are perfect. A 3’x3’ floral tablecloth can be made easily by purchasing a yard of floral calico and trimming any frayed edges. Fresh and dried flowers are important, too, and look great grouped in teapots, pretty bowls, baskets, and glass or ceramic pitchers, as well as ordinary vases. Some upbeat classical background music completes the ambiance.
Gift ideas: Even if the couple has registered, you may want to help bring the tea party atmosphere into their new home with some of the following:
Embroidered linens
Flavored teas and coffees
Tea spoons, strainers, balls
A tea chest
Espresso cups
Tea cozy or tea towels
Lacy handkerchiefs
A wreath of dried flowers
Recipes for party refreshments
Cake plate
Trays or platters
Many of the above would make lovely favors.
Invitations: Any pretty, floral note cards, post cards, or invitations will do. A crafty option is buying or making note cards in the shape of teacups, cutting slits in them with a knife, and inserting a tea bag, as if it were steeping in the cup.
Refreshments: The most essential element is, of course, tea! Plan to serve punch, several different kinds of hot tea, or, if the weather is very warm, a variety of hot and iced teas. A large carafe full of hot water and an assortment of tea bags offer plenty of variety. For a more traditional and elegant look, serve tea in China pots. Don’t forget the sugar cubes, lemon slices, a cream pitcher, and honey. Tea sandwiches, though dainty-looking, are very easy to make. Salads like tuna, chicken, egg, or seafood are very popular, and can simply be spread on white bread with the crusts cut off and cut into 4 triangles, or with cookie cutters. Cucumber sandwiches, quintessential tea party fare, make a great-looking snack when I follow my grandmother’s recipe:
DILL-CUCUMBER SANDWICHES:
1 package cocktail rye bread squares
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 packet ranch seasoning
1 medium cucumber, thinly sliced
Fresh dill
Mix the ranch seasoning into cream cheese, spread mixture onto bread. Top with one slice of cucumber and a sprig of dill. Makes 15 sandwiches.
A tea party is the perfect opportunity to serve a cake complete with cake pulls, or an assortment of pretty tarts and mini-pastries. Crudities, a fruit platter, and cheese and crackers can round all of the above into a meal. For a more substantial luncheon, or fancier spread, try adding a few of the following:
Deviled eggs sprinkled with caviar
Smoked salmon
Shrimp cocktail
Mini-quiches
Baked brie
Sliced ham or turkey breast
Pate
Spanakopittes (mini spinach pies)
Mini-spring rolls
Strawberries dipped in chocolate
Décor: First and foremost, if you don’t have a tea service, you must find one. But before you go out and splurge on China, remember that a mismatched tea set is easily the most charming option for an informal shower, and if you plan to serve several different kinds of tea, you’ll be using different pots anyway! Look carefully through antique shops, flea markets, thrift stores, and sales at home stores and department stores for a few pretty, quality teapots with no cracks. If teapots aren’t “you,” they can be your gift to the bride. Consider buying a teapot that goes with the bride’s China pattern and surprise her by pouring from it at her shower. To ensure enough cups and saucers, a friend suggests this lovely tradition: have each guest bring a different teacup (new, antique, or from a family collection) to the shower to drink from. After lunch, wash and pack all the cups (don’t forget to have some newspaper handy) and present them to the bride as a gift.
The tea service and refreshments will be the focal point of the party, so take your cues from the patterns and colors you find in the China. White or floral linens are perfect. A 3’x3’ floral tablecloth can be made easily by purchasing a yard of floral calico and trimming any frayed edges. Fresh and dried flowers are important, too, and look great grouped in teapots, pretty bowls, baskets, and glass or ceramic pitchers, as well as ordinary vases. Some upbeat classical background music completes the ambiance.
Gift ideas: Even if the couple has registered, you may want to help bring the tea party atmosphere into their new home with some of the following:
Embroidered linens
Flavored teas and coffees
Tea spoons, strainers, balls
A tea chest
Espresso cups
Tea cozy or tea towels
Lacy handkerchiefs
A wreath of dried flowers
Recipes for party refreshments
Cake plate
Trays or platters
Many of the above would make lovely favors.
Throwing a Shower (Part 1)
Date, Guests, Location
Your friend is getting married and she asked you to be the Maid of Honor. You couldn't be happier, you have bought your dress, bought your shoes, helped make favors and offered a shoulder for your friend to lean on when things got to be too much. You want your friend to remember this as the happiest time in her life and to do this, you want to throw her a shower. So, where do you begin?
First, decide if you want it to be a surprise? Surprise showers are a little more difficult because you have to organize it all without the bride's knowledge. Allowing the bride to know eliminates secret conversations, excuses, and a reason to get the bride somewhere at a certain time.
Next, you must choose a time. This can be very difficult. First and foremost, make sure the bride is available. I once planned a shower without consulting the bride's schedule and later discovered she would be out of town that weekend. I had to call all the guests. Believe me, you want to avoid this stress. Once you know the bride's schedule, check the schedules of other important guests, namely the bridal party and the bride and groom's immediate family. You should end up with several weekends and evenings from which to choose.
Note, showers do not have to be on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. A weekday evening is perfectly acceptable. If the shower is in town and your guests aren't too old, it's perfect (and some of your guests may be grateful to not give up a Saturday afternoon). However, if you have elderly guests, an afternoon shower would be preferable. A couple's shower (women and men) is fun for a Saturday night. Skip the games, serve hors d?ouevres and alcoholic punch and everyone will have a good time. The decorations and presents act as the reminder of the party's purpose. If the shower is not a surprise, ask the bride what she would prefer. If it is a surprise, a little sleuthing is required.
Once the date has been decided, you need a guest list. If the shower is a surprise, contact the groom or the bride's mother for the wedding guest list. Please remember, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to the shower. If you are hosting this shower by yourself, you know what you can afford, if you are co-hosting, you must come to an agreement on cost. As well, will there be other showers? With the exception of the wedding party and the mothers, no guest should be invited to more than one shower.
If this will be the one and only shower, you may invite from both sides of the family plus friends. This is where you will have to decide on the guest limit. Money and space limitations have to be taken into account. My favorite showers are the more intimate, smaller parties. You have more opportunity to get to know other guests which in turn make the wedding more enjoyable.
While deciding on a guest list and a date, you have most likely been thinking about a location for the shower. Possibilities are a private home, a restaurant, or a hall. The house shower is easiest since you know the inventory of the kitchen, it's free, and you?re not on a time constraint. A restaurant shower can be expensive since you will be expected to pay for every guest's meal. A hall shower is a good alternative if a house isn't available. The kitchen is usually quite large although you don't know its contents or where everything is. As well, a hall is only available during the hours you have reserved it so you can't get in earlier to begin decorating, etc. If the shower is a surprise, it's easier to come up with an excuse to go to a house rather than a hall.
Your friend is getting married and she asked you to be the Maid of Honor. You couldn't be happier, you have bought your dress, bought your shoes, helped make favors and offered a shoulder for your friend to lean on when things got to be too much. You want your friend to remember this as the happiest time in her life and to do this, you want to throw her a shower. So, where do you begin?
First, decide if you want it to be a surprise? Surprise showers are a little more difficult because you have to organize it all without the bride's knowledge. Allowing the bride to know eliminates secret conversations, excuses, and a reason to get the bride somewhere at a certain time.
Next, you must choose a time. This can be very difficult. First and foremost, make sure the bride is available. I once planned a shower without consulting the bride's schedule and later discovered she would be out of town that weekend. I had to call all the guests. Believe me, you want to avoid this stress. Once you know the bride's schedule, check the schedules of other important guests, namely the bridal party and the bride and groom's immediate family. You should end up with several weekends and evenings from which to choose.
Note, showers do not have to be on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. A weekday evening is perfectly acceptable. If the shower is in town and your guests aren't too old, it's perfect (and some of your guests may be grateful to not give up a Saturday afternoon). However, if you have elderly guests, an afternoon shower would be preferable. A couple's shower (women and men) is fun for a Saturday night. Skip the games, serve hors d?ouevres and alcoholic punch and everyone will have a good time. The decorations and presents act as the reminder of the party's purpose. If the shower is not a surprise, ask the bride what she would prefer. If it is a surprise, a little sleuthing is required.
Once the date has been decided, you need a guest list. If the shower is a surprise, contact the groom or the bride's mother for the wedding guest list. Please remember, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to the shower. If you are hosting this shower by yourself, you know what you can afford, if you are co-hosting, you must come to an agreement on cost. As well, will there be other showers? With the exception of the wedding party and the mothers, no guest should be invited to more than one shower.
If this will be the one and only shower, you may invite from both sides of the family plus friends. This is where you will have to decide on the guest limit. Money and space limitations have to be taken into account. My favorite showers are the more intimate, smaller parties. You have more opportunity to get to know other guests which in turn make the wedding more enjoyable.
While deciding on a guest list and a date, you have most likely been thinking about a location for the shower. Possibilities are a private home, a restaurant, or a hall. The house shower is easiest since you know the inventory of the kitchen, it's free, and you?re not on a time constraint. A restaurant shower can be expensive since you will be expected to pay for every guest's meal. A hall shower is a good alternative if a house isn't available. The kitchen is usually quite large although you don't know its contents or where everything is. As well, a hall is only available during the hours you have reserved it so you can't get in earlier to begin decorating, etc. If the shower is a surprise, it's easier to come up with an excuse to go to a house rather than a hall.
Ten Ways To Thank Your Shower Hostess
Being honored with a shower is one of the most memorable moments of being a bride. The hostess of your shower has worked hard to make sure that you feel pampered and special. Now you must come up with a way to show your gratitude for such a lovely gesture....
Don't fear! Here are ten ways to thank your shower hostess for a job well done...
1. Arrange to have a picture of the two of you placed on a mug. Whenever she enjoys her morning coffee, she'll be reminded of your friendship.
2. If she has children, give her one Saturday night's worth of free babysitting.
3. A gift certificate to a day spa is always appreciated!
4. Free passes to her favorite museum would bring a smile to her face.
5. A monetary donation (in her name) to her favorite charity would be a touching gift.
6. A basket containing microwaveable popcorn, penny candy and vouchers for video rentals makes for a terrific " at home movie night".
7. Sending a floral arrangement to her office is always a great move.
8. Sign her up for a yearlong subscription to her favorite magazine.
9. Surprise her by showing up unexpectedly one night and treating her to dinner at her favorite restaurant.
10.Save a few flowers from your bridal bouquet. Dry them and, along with a beautifully handwritten thank you note, put them in an attractive frame.
Don't fear! Here are ten ways to thank your shower hostess for a job well done...
1. Arrange to have a picture of the two of you placed on a mug. Whenever she enjoys her morning coffee, she'll be reminded of your friendship.
2. If she has children, give her one Saturday night's worth of free babysitting.
3. A gift certificate to a day spa is always appreciated!
4. Free passes to her favorite museum would bring a smile to her face.
5. A monetary donation (in her name) to her favorite charity would be a touching gift.
6. A basket containing microwaveable popcorn, penny candy and vouchers for video rentals makes for a terrific " at home movie night".
7. Sending a floral arrangement to her office is always a great move.
8. Sign her up for a yearlong subscription to her favorite magazine.
9. Surprise her by showing up unexpectedly one night and treating her to dinner at her favorite restaurant.
10.Save a few flowers from your bridal bouquet. Dry them and, along with a beautifully handwritten thank you note, put them in an attractive frame.
Bachelorette Party Alternatives
Almost all brides to be probably have some sort of bachelorette party before their big day. When some people traditionally think of bachelor or bachelorette parties, they may assume the party will involve: a scrumptious cake, and a scantily clad person jumping out of that cake. Or they may think the party will entail an extremely wild night out at the bars involving a few men, dollars, and Lifesavers. But what if the bride to be isn’t the sort of woman who would swoon with excitement if “Officer Friendly” came to her door with fun and surprises?
There are many alternatives to having the traditional “stripper” or “night out at the bars” bachelorette party. You could have a lingerie party! Invite a few (or lots) of your closest girlfriends over for a night of margaritas, delectable hors d’oeuvres, and gossip while they lavish you with gifts of gorgeous lingerie. It is a great way to sit back, relax and spend time with family and friends before your stressful big day. Besides the lingerie, your guests may decide to give you: a romantic game for lovers, massage lotions, candles, bubble bath, or wine and wine glasses.
Or you could have a slumber party! You may think it’s strictly for pre-teens giggling over their latest crush, but it could be just the thing to relax your pre-wedding jitters. Pick a place where you and your friends could hang out for the whole night and spread the sleeping bags around! Get festive and light candles, whip up a fattening feast of pizza and do-it-yourself hot fudge sundaes, rent romantic movies, set up the bathroom for the girls to receive well deserved facials, or break out the polish and paint your nails and toes a sexy, vamp red.
A final suggestion for a “last bash” before the wedding is to have a Jack and Jill party. This party is for both the bride and groom. It’s also a way to gather your family and closest friends to celebrate your upcoming wedding. Most likely, it would be easier to have the party at a restaurant and to serve food and drinks since the guest list could be quite big. To cover the cost of the food and festivities, forewarn the guests that you will be charging a few dollars. The choice to come is up to them. Another good idea is to have various question and answer games that involve the history of the couples’ courtship and engagement. Have everyone try to participate, and those who answer the questions correctly receive some sort of prize. Prizes can fun and inexpensive such as: chocolate, candy, or free drinks. I actually attended a Jack and Jill party a few years ago. For some reason, the hostess decided to give out “naughty” prizes during the games. Imagine my excitement as I answered question after question correctly about my dear friends. And just imagine the shape of the chocolate I was given as my consolation prize. I haven’t looked at chocolate the same since.
Have fun thinking up your own bachelorette party ideas. There are so many ways to make it a night to remember!
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