Monday, June 1, 2009

Wedding Planning Guide: Invitations & Announcements (Part II)

Q. I am a medical doctor and my fiancé holds a Ph.D. Do we use our titles on our wedding invitations?
A. Women use their titles only when the invitations are issued by themselves and their grooms. Holders ofacademic degrees do not use "Dr." unless they are always referred to that way.

Q. My fiance will receive his medical degree in June and we are getting married in July. Even though he tvon 7 officially be a doctor at the time that we order the invitations, should we use his title on the invitations?
A. Yes, since he will be a doctor at the time of your wedding.

Q. My sister and I are planning a double wedding. How do we word the invitation?
A. With the elder sister's name given first, the correct form is:
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Smart request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughters Cynthia Helen to
Mr. Steven Bodow and Linda Caroline to
Mr. Michael Scott Adams Saturday, the tenth of May at four o'clock Trinity Church
R.S. V.P.

Q. Our wedding will be held at a friend's home. Are the-invitations, issued in their names or in my parents' names?
A. In your parents' names. The form would be:
Mr. and Mrs. Bronson Kelly request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Erin Kristen to
Doctor Kenneth 0'Byrne Saturday, the sixth of April at eight o'clock at the residence of Mr. and Mrs. Evan Hubert Dunn East Lansing, Michigan
R.S. V.P.

Q. We are having a private wedding ceremony with only immediate family present, but would still like to have a reception for family and friends. How would invitations to the reception be worded?
A. Mr. and Mrs. Jason Gould
request the pleasure of your company at the wedding reception of their daughter Susan and
Mr. Sidney Abrams [etc. ]

Q. My husband and I married in Europe three months ago and have just returned home. Our parents have graciously offered to give a wedding reception for us. How would the invitations be worded?
A. Mr. and Mrs. Reid Michaels
request the pleasure of your company at a reception in honor of Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Miller [etc. ]
Or, a less formal invitation may be issued by using fill-in printed cards and writing "In honor of Melanie and Christopher" or "In honor of Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Miller" at the top.

Q. What is the proper way to respond to a wedding invitation?
A. Invitations to a marriage ceremony do not require an answer, unless the invitation has arrived in the form of a personal note. In that case it should be answered at once, also by handwritten note.

Invitations to the reception alone or to both the ceremony and reception follow the form of the invitation. If the invitation is in the traditional third-person form so is the response. The reply to a wedding invitation from Mr. and Mrs. Gregg Mariotti to Mr. and Mrs. William James DeRosa would read as follows.

Mr. and Mrs. William James DeRosa accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Mariotti's kind invitation for Saturday, the first of June
or, if you prefer: .
. . .the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Gregg Mariotti for
Saturday, the first of June
In the event Mr. and Mrs. DeRosa could not attend the wedding, the phrasing would be "regret that they are unable to accept" in place of "accept with pleasure."
Replies to semiformal- or informal-style invitations do not need to be in the traditional third-person style. They may be answered by a short personal note, or even by telephone when that seems most appropriate. All invitations, no matter what the style, should be answered as promptly as possible.

Q. Is it in good taste to enclose reply cards with invitations to a wedding reception?
A. No, it is not. Unfortunately, however, many people today do not bother to answer a wedding invitation promptly by hand. The use of answer cards is sometimes the only way to determine accurately how many people to expect. If you feel this is the case in your area, you are justified in using them.

Q. How can one tell invitees that their children are not included?
A. Since it is not correct to print "Please do not bring children" on an invitation, the best solution is word of mouth. Simply explain that you are terribly sorry but that you cannot include children if you are afraid your guests will bring them even though the envelope does not include their names. Ask those with whom you speak to help you spread the word.

Q. When the bride's parents are divorced and both have remarried, is it proper to include all four names on the invitation?
A. Only if both couples are sharing the expenses and acting as co-hosts. Otherwise, only the name of the couple who pays and acts as host at the wedding and reception should appear.

Q. My fiance and I are giving our own wedding. May we still send out the invitation in our parents' name?
A. Yes, you may. It is perfectly proper and a lovely way to share the happiness of the event.

Q. Why aren't the names of the groom's mother and father included on the wedding invitation? A. Unless the groom's parents are sharing the expenses, your parents are the hosts and therefore the invitations are issued in their names.

Q. Why are tissues included in wedding invitations?
A. Engravers used to use tissue sheets to protect against blotting or smudging, but improved techniques have made the tissues unnecessary and you may discard them if you wish.

Q. I received an invitation with a small card that says "within the ribbon." What do I do with it?
A. This means that a certain number of pews have been reserved for special guests and that you are to be I seated in one of these pews. Take this card to the church and show it to the usher who escorts you.

Q. What is an at-home card?
A. It is a card approximately four by two and one half inches, slightly smaller than the reception card, that notifies your friends of your address after you are married. It is also an ideal way for the bride to let others know if she will be taking her husband's name or continuing to use her own name.
An at-home card may be included with the invitation or announcement and follows this form:

Laura Peterson and James Dennison will be at home after the thirtieth of September 323 Hinman Place Mamaroneck, New York 10543

Q. Why are there often two envelopes for a wedding invitation?
A. The use of two envelopes is a tradition that probably goes back to when invitations were delivered by hand. For politeness the envelopes were left unsealed. Later, when mail services began, the unsealed envelopes were inserted into larger ones that could be sealed. A practical reason for using two envelopes today is that the names of family members, escorts of your invited guests and children can be listed on the inner envelope. However, today in the interests of economy and conservation it is perfectly acceptable to eliminate the inner envelope.

Q. When there are two envelopes, how are they addressed?
A. The inner envelope bears only the names of the people to whom the mailing envelope is addressed using neither first names nor addresses. For example, you would write "Mr. O'Dorinell" or "Mr. and Mrs. Newberry."
Close relatives' inner envelopes may be addressed "Grandmother," "Aunt Julia and Uncle Edward," etc.

If you are including an invitation to an escort or date on an invitation to a single friend, the outer envelope is addressed to your friend and the inner envelope is addressed "Miss Richards and guest." If you know his name and address, it is preferable to send him his own invitation.

The outer envelope may include no abbreviations, either in the names or the street addresses. You may eliminate the middle name of the recipient, but if you use it, it must be written in full. For example, on the inner envelope you write only "Mr. and Mrs. Fulton"; on the outer envelope you write "Mr. and Mrs. William Andrew Fulton" or "Mr. and Mrs. William Fulton."

Q. How is the inner envelope inserted into the mailing envelope?
A. The invitation, folded edge first, is put in the inner envelope with the engraved side toward the flap. If the invitation requires a second fold, it should be folded with the engraving inside and inserted folded edge first.

If the invitation is folded twice, all insertions (such as a reception card) are placed inside the second fold with the printed side facing the envelope flap. If the invitation is not folded a second time, the cards are inserted in front of it with the reception card next to the invitation and any smaller cards in front of that.

The inner envelope, unsealed, is placed in the outer envelope with the flap away from you.

No comments: