Throwing a Shower (Part 1)

Date, Guests, Location


Your friend is getting married and she asked you to be the Maid of Honor. You couldn't be happier, you have bought your dress, bought your shoes, helped make favors and offered a shoulder for your friend to lean on when things got to be too much. You want your friend to remember this as the happiest time in her life and to do this, you want to throw her a shower. So, where do you begin?


First, decide if you want it to be a surprise? Surprise showers are a little more difficult because you have to organize it all without the bride's knowledge. Allowing the bride to know eliminates secret conversations, excuses, and a reason to get the bride somewhere at a certain time.


Next, you must choose a time. This can be very difficult. First and foremost, make sure the bride is available. I once planned a shower without consulting the bride's schedule and later discovered she would be out of town that weekend. I had to call all the guests. Believe me, you want to avoid this stress. Once you know the bride's schedule, check the schedules of other important guests, namely the bridal party and the bride and groom's immediate family. You should end up with several weekends and evenings from which to choose.


Note, showers do not have to be on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. A weekday evening is perfectly acceptable. If the shower is in town and your guests aren't too old, it's perfect (and some of your guests may be grateful to not give up a Saturday afternoon). However, if you have elderly guests, an afternoon shower would be preferable. A couple's shower (women and men) is fun for a Saturday night. Skip the games, serve hors d?ouevres and alcoholic punch and everyone will have a good time. The decorations and presents act as the reminder of the party's purpose. If the shower is not a surprise, ask the bride what she would prefer. If it is a surprise, a little sleuthing is required.


Once the date has been decided, you need a guest list. If the shower is a surprise, contact the groom or the bride's mother for the wedding guest list. Please remember, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to the shower. If you are hosting this shower by yourself, you know what you can afford, if you are co-hosting, you must come to an agreement on cost. As well, will there be other showers? With the exception of the wedding party and the mothers, no guest should be invited to more than one shower.


If this will be the one and only shower, you may invite from both sides of the family plus friends. This is where you will have to decide on the guest limit. Money and space limitations have to be taken into account. My favorite showers are the more intimate, smaller parties. You have more opportunity to get to know other guests which in turn make the wedding more enjoyable.


While deciding on a guest list and a date, you have most likely been thinking about a location for the shower. Possibilities are a private home, a restaurant, or a hall. The house shower is easiest since you know the inventory of the kitchen, it's free, and you?re not on a time constraint. A restaurant shower can be expensive since you will be expected to pay for every guest's meal. A hall shower is a good alternative if a house isn't available. The kitchen is usually quite large although you don't know its contents or where everything is. As well, a hall is only available during the hours you have reserved it so you can't get in earlier to begin decorating, etc. If the shower is a surprise, it's easier to come up with an excuse to go to a house rather than a hall.