The Name Game: To change or not to change

To change or not to change -- that is the big question. The answer: well, it's complicated.

Maybe you're totally ready to take a new name to match your new husband. There are a lot of perks to this route: you'll share the last name, you won't offend your in-laws, and when you have kids, you'll only have to argue about which first name to give them. But it's going to require a little legwork on your part. You'll need to call various companies and governmental bureaus and file the proper paperwork to get your new name on your passport, Social Security card, driver's license, insurance policies, credit cards, bank accounts and human resource records. Because in many cases you'll need a photocopy of your marriage license, save this task for after the honeymoon.

But maybe you're not too jazzed about giving up your own name. You're in a career where your name's important; you love him, hate his name; or you just wouldn't feel like you with a whole new surname. You'll save yourself some paperwork, but be prepared to face a little grilling from your elder relatives. Stand your ground. It won't make you any less married if you keep your own name.

Or, you might try a different avenue. Many brides choose a compromise between keeping their name and taking their husbands': they hyphenate their maiden and married names. Other couples choose to share a name they create themselves that's either a blend of their old surnames or something new entirely. And some men even take their wives' names as their own. Again, it takes paperwork and a little compromise, but any of these alternatives just might work for you.