Choosing the Gown That's Right for You

Choosing your wedding gown can be one of the most memorable highlights of your life. It can also be one of the most emotionally exhausting ordeals you've ever endured.

Browsing through bridal magazines can almost be a mistake. You see, falling in love with the gown in a full-page ad can spell disaster, for the general rule is: The larger the ad, the larger the price tag. So what can you do?

First, establish your budget. This makes your shopping much easier. Second, ask friends and family for their recommendations of bridal shops. You will want to visit only the best. And this doesn't necessarily mean the ones who charge the most. This means the ones who have been around awhile. Out of my file of wedding stories comes to mind one in which a bride I worked with found out at the last minute that her boutique went out of business. Just like that! No phone call. No refund. And no dress. She had to rent one. If you have the willpower, visit a few shops without trying anything on. This is the time to be critical. Browse through the dresses in your price range and evaluate the service help. Are they helpful or pushy? Down-to-earth or "snooty"? You must like the shop and its employees. After all, you're going to be together a very long time!

Narrow down the field and return to the shop or shops you liked best for an afternoon or evening of "fun-filled" fittings. Just remember to:

• Wear or bring heels much like you will wear at your wedding.
• Wear a strapless bra if you are interested in trying on gowns with mesh or fine lace around the upper chest and shoulders.
• Sweep up your hair in a simple knot with tendrils on the side, if you think you'll want to have your hair up on your wedding day. This will help you envision the total effect.
• Try not to wear too much makeup, especially base foundation. No matter how careful you are, it can easily smear on the dress.
• Avoid wearing dangling earrings or bracelets that can snag on the delicate material of the gowns.

Try on only dresses that are priced within your budget. It is useless to disappoint yourself. And try on as many different styles as possible. You can't always judge a gown by its appearance on a hanger. When I got married, I went to the boutique with one definite style in mind. The salesperson—who reminded me of a wonderful Italian grandmother — did not disagree with me. She simply brought me some "other" choices as well. No hype. No push. But she had a "favorite" in that bunch. Well, I ended up with that favorite. And it cost me less than what I intended to spend!

Sample gowns are generally made in sizes 8, 10, and 12. So, if you just happen to be out of the "norm," make sure the sales representative assists, by displaying the gown on you to its best advantage. And for that matter, if you are a perfect size 8, 10, or 12, you just might want to check out the sample gowns on sale. (That's where I got mine!) The deals are fabulous! True, the dresses are most often last year's models. But who, besides you, is going to know that? Don't worry about any makeup stains or wrinkles. The boutique will remove these, and usually at no extra charge. You may get a designer wedding gown for a fraction of the cost!

You'll know the gown of your dreams the very moment you try it on. Hopefully, your mother and/or maid or matron of honor is with you and has brought a camera!

When you have made your choice, listen carefully to all policies. Know exactly what you are paying for. Will this particular gown require additional articles of clothing, such as full-hoop petticoats or a special brassiere? Does the style of dress require a very formal veil? (These things will strongly affect your budget!) Are alterations included? If not, what are the fees? If hourly rates are being quoted, don't be afraid to ask for the estimated number of hours involved in completing your gown. What kind of deposit is required? Whenever possible, use your credit card. If the boutique does not come through for you as promised, you may have some recourse through your credit card company.

Now if your budget isn't quite up to "boutique," there are other sources available for bridal gowns, as well. You can rent. (Check your Yellow Pages.) You can read through your local want ads for used or never-worn bridal attire. And, if your mother preserved her gown, you can restore and/or alter hers to fit you. Don't be afraid of saying the style doesn't suit you. Just say it nicely.

You also needn't wear traditional white. In Victorian-style Christmas weddings, often the bride will be in emerald green and the bridesmaids in lush red velvets (or vice versa). I've even seen weddings with the bride in blue, which is true to 18th-century tradition. The choice is yours. And the sky's the limit!

Okay, it's time to be brutally honest with yourself. Are you really planning to lose weight before your wedding? If so, inform your salesperson or seamstress. (They're used to hearing it, believe me.) Then lose that weight before your first fitting, and do your best to maintain your desired weight. The problems are all too obvious when you gain or lose more than a few pounds before your final fitting.

Losing weight on your own? That's fine when you have about ten pounds to lose. Just figure on a pound a week, and safely schedule your first fitting around that if time allows.
Want to lose more? Seek out a professional weight control service. They will set up a program for you that gets you where you want to be in a reasonable amount of time. The money is well worth it.

Never, never starve yourself. It doesn't teach you any good habits, and often destroys your health if you do too much of it. And above all, please don't feel under pressure to be someone you're not! After all, your fiance proposed to you the way you are. The need to trim off a few pounds is normal. But to carve yourself down from a size 12 to a 3 is ridiculous!