Once you have received all your brochures, read them carefully over and over again, making note of each one's pluses and minuses as you see them in print. Now if it seems to you that no one out there is offering anything unique, don't feel frustrated. Remember that these facilities are sending out suggested menus and guidelines, and you can very often adapt these plans to suit your particular style.
Next, call each facility that appeals to you and book an appointment with a banquet sales representative, making sure that your wedding date or alternative dates are still available.
If at all possible, arrange your appointment for a time when you can view the room or rooms in question. Understand, however, that on any given afternoon or evening during the business week you are most likely going to see the room set for a corporate classroom or meeting. Your appointment may take up to two hours. With that in mind, try not to book more than one or two appointments for the same day unless time restrictions apply. You may feel too overwhelmed to differentiate one place from another after a full day of banquet hall "shopping."
This will be the first step in selecting your perfect reception site arid a full guide to answering your initial Questions follows. The second step involves seeing the banquet room fully set for a wedding (when time permits). The third step will address-all your "personal touch"' problems before you hand over that ever-binding deposit.
Just one important note, however. Don't let the date slip through your fingers by dilly-dallying over your decision. A good sales rep will offer to contact you if someone else is interested in putting down a deposit for the same date you want. But don't leave something this important to chance.
Your First Appointment
You will want to begin-your wedding appointment by repeating your requested wedding date and time to your banquet sales representative just to be assured that it's still available.
Your sales rep will want to know your anticipated number of guests. Report a range of from 25 less to 25 more than your actual list total. (For example, if your list shows 200 names, tell the sales rep you expect 175-225 guests.) This information will determine which banquet room or rooms best suit your needs.
If at all possible, see the banquet room(s) right away. If you hate it, this saves valuable time for both you and the sales rep. Keep in mind, however, that if the room has just been vacated by a business meeting, you must overlook the scattered chairs and the empty coffee cups. Concentrate on the rug, the walls, and the lighting instead. Is everything clean? Look at the linen on the tables. Is it fresh and crisp, or unduly soiled and wrinkled? Remember that the same company who supplies their everyday linen will most likely be supplying your wedding day tablecloths and napkins.
Will the room decor clash with your choice of bridal colors? Does the tone of the room fit in with your sense of celebration? For example, is the atmosphere too formal? Or not formal enough? Is the wallpaper peeling or puckered, or is the paint faded or soiled? Are there any inoperative light fixtures? Remember that lightbulbs and linen can be changed, but walls and rugs obviously cannot. However, be sure to ask if the facility plans to make any renovations prior to your wedding date! This can factor a great deal in your decision making.
While you are standing in the banquet room, ask the following questions:
1. Where would the head table be placed? Make sure, of course, that you know how many you wish to have seated at your head table. Generally, it would be the bridal party itself with parents seated at the tables of prominence (numbers one and two). The arrangement is entirely up to you. It might be good for your peace of mind to find out the maximum number of people they can accommodate in any given area of the room.
2. Would all guest tables be set in view of the head table?
Keep in mind that a full capacity seating may involve a few specific seats being out of a perfect sight line. This may or may not be of much importance to you. After all, you will be seated only while eating. And as these tables are typically the farthest ones away, you are not likely to place an important friend or family member there.
3. Where would the band or DJ be placed? Is it in clear view of the head table? How many guest tables are in close proximity to this area? You will need to place your "younger" friends near the music. Older folks don't appreciate being seated right next to blaring speakers, etc.
4. Where and how big is the dance floor? If the room doesn't already have an inlaid dance floor, ask for the dimensions. Now, if you can't visualize 9' x 12' (and most of us can't) ask the sales rep to "walk out" the size in the location where it will be placed. Repeat your number of guests and make sure that the dimensions you are being quoted will still hold for that size group. And what if you have a few more guests than anticipated? Would the room at full capacity mean that the dance floor would have to be cut down in size? Dancing is important! Once things get going at your reception, most everyone will want to dance. And an overflowing dance floor is frustrating.
5. Where does the bar go? With luck, it can be set within your function room. It is extremely ill-advised to allow a bar, particularly an open bar, to be set up in a public hallway! Your wedding guests will not be wearing special name tags, and no bartender is going to be able to distinguish your guests from the ones down the hall who, after discovering theirs is a cash bar, figure yours is a better deal. Can people really be this dishonest? Unfortunately, yes. I have personally witnessed this happening as a guest at someone's wedding. Do not, I repeat, do not let this happen to you!
6. Where will pictures be taken? View this room. Do the draperies and/or walls complement your intended bridal colors? This is very important, as most of your formal wedding portraits will be taken in this room. Is the room large enough to accommodate your full bridal party in a single picture? Of course, if this particular room does not suit your needs, you should definitely ask if another room might be available.
After viewing the rooms, return to the office before discussing meals, music, etc. You will be less distracted and, once seated, you are better able to take notes.
Take out your package plan and/or menus and be sure to cover all of the following questions in this, your initial meeting.
Guarantee of Room
What happens if your actual number of guests falls below the estimated count? Can your room assignment possibly be changed without your knowledge or approval?
On the other hand, what happens if that number exceeds the estimated count? How many will this room actually hold?
Note that in either case you will want to keep in close contact with your banquet sales representative. If it appears that a great number of your guests cannot attend, you may wish to consider a smaller room, if one is available. But also keep in mind that the banquet staff is accustomed to dealing with such problems, and is very adept at making 150 look very comfortable in a room that seats 200. So, don't panic.
Is this function area accessible to handicapped guests?
Guarantee of Hours
If you plan a Saturday afternoon reception, you will most likely be confined to a 5 p.m. departure time or perhaps even earlier, unless you pay an exorbitant rental to stay on through the evening. Do ask, if keeping the party going at the function hall is important to you, but financially it may not seem worthwhile.
Evening receptions usually have more leeway for staying later. Ask your sales rep how many hours are allocated for nighttime weddings. (You should be quoted five hours.) If this brings your reception to a halt at say 11 p.m., ask if any arrangements can be made to keep the hall until the licensed hour for bar closing. If a rental figure is quoted, ask under what circumstances that amount can be waived or at least decreased — for example, if your bar, the purchase of additional food, or a combination of both reach a certain dollar amount. All the same, it is often easier to continue the party where you are than move it to someone's house — usually your parents'— for more food and drink. The band may be hired to play additional hours, or a DJ can be brought in for a change of pace.
Package plans typically have set menus featuring the most popular entrees. This does not mean you have to stick by them, but keep in mind these basic rules:
Specialty meals, such as lobster fra diablo and veal calabrese axe not easily prepared for large groups of people, nor do they "sit" well during any minor time delay. Besides, not everyone likes them.
If you have a package plan offering various chicken, turkey, and beef entrees and none of these options pleases you, ask to see a regular banquet dinner menu if you don't already have one. Then, judging by your anticipated number of guests, inquire as to which items can easily be prepared for a group your size. Discuss suggested courses that complement each offering, but don't fret over fruit cups and vegetables at this time. All of this will figure in later.
Many brides I have worked with have wondered if they could offer their guests a choice of chicken or beef. This is more than gracious on your part. And, if I may, I would like to point out the pitfalls of such a practice:
Let's say your anticipated guest count is 200. Now, no banquet facility is going to specially order and prepare 200 chicken and 200 beef meals just to be ready for whatever happens. Not unless you pay for it, of course.
Therefore, to offer this choice, you, the bride, will be responsible for gathering the exact count per entree. This may sound easily arranged by sending a little "return form" with your invitations. But people will be people. Some of them will forget to fill it out, or they'll simply assume that they're supposed to bring the slip of paper with them to the reception. This means that you will be making endless phone calls during that precious last week before the wedding — a time, I may point out, that you will have far more important things to think about. You, for example, may be responsible for supplying each guest with a "marker" card that indicates to the server which entree is to be served (e.g., blue cards for chicken and red cards for beef). This involves a great deal of participation on everyone's part. Your guests must remember to bring the cards and present them at dinner time. And then, there will always be guests who will tell you how they want their beef cooked or, worse yet, change their minds at the reception. In short, such operations rarely run smoothly, and always take valuable time away from your reception! After all, would you rather dance and have a good time, or while away the night figuring out who gets what on which plate?
A possible solution is to offer a buffet. By doing so, you have alleviated all the headaches your family is creating by insisting that you do "something other than chicken" at your wedding.
There are pros and cons, of course. The "pro" is simple. All your guests get to eat what they want, and how much they want. The "cons" are as follows:
* You may not want to go through a buffet line and risk damage to your lovely wedding gown. This is understandable. A head waiter or waitress should or could be instructed to serve you.
* Many of your guests may not wish to risk their clothing by going through a buffet line. This is true, to some degree. Just don't insist on a black-tie wedding. Or, indicate on your invitation that a "Buffet Reception" immediately follows. This little message puts the responsibility of attire strictly with the guest.
* Elderly people shouldn't have to stand in line for a buffet. True, once again — especially for any guest in a wheelchair. In such a case, speak with that person's escort or family member in advance, and ask that they see to his or her needs.
* Buffets almost always cost more than a single entree selection.
But all in all, the ease of a buffet may be worth it. Fine establishments typically set a beautifully decorated buffet table, making the entire effect far more dazzling and appealing to your guests.
If you are considering a buffet, make sure that the addition of a buffet table and adequate standing area will not crowd the banquet room with your anticipated guest count.
The Test Is in the Trying
Ask if it is possible to try any or all of the entrees you might be interested in having. (Of course, if you are leaning towards buffet, it will be rather difficult to try each and every item.) The best way to go about this is as follows:
1. Have a meeting with all "the powers that be" i.e., you fiance and one or both sets of parents — whoever is equally hosting your reception, and narrow down your menu choices as much as possible. Decide who is going with you on your "taste-testing mission" and what are they going to eat. For obvious reasons, you all shouldn't order the same thing!
2. Try to arrange the taste-testing for a time in which you can actually see the banquet room set for a wedding, if time permits (meaning that you're not waiting three months for the next wedding!). If it's the middle of winter and the next wedding doesn't occur until April, try to see the room set for a formal dinner — even a Christmas party! Anything that will give you a proper idea of how your wedding setup may look.
3. Make sure the food you are trying will be prepared by the banquet chef. Many facilities have more than one kitchen, resulting in the need for two or more culinary chefs. It is pointless to try the food someone else has cooked.
4. Be prepared to pay for the food you eat. Some places will offer to charge you very little, or make some adjustment if and when you choose their facility for your reception. But in any case, sample the food if it is important to you. And it should be.
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