Which Reception Site Is Best For You?

Narrowing Down the Field
Once vou nave visited all the banquet facilities on your list, you will need to call a meeting of "the powers that be." That is, the people paying for your wedding. Any additions to this group must be carefully considered, because, as the old adage goes, "too many cooks spoil the broth!" If the groom's parents are contributing, but not necessarily to the reception costs, you may still wish toinclude them out of courtesy — particularly if you have been close to them during your courtship with their son.

By this time, you should have a good sense of which facility or facilities you like best, based on your initial visits. And now is the time to "sell" this place, or places, to the others. Just remember (and this is the hard part, sometimes) that sticking to your budget is very important.
Now comes the next step, which includes:
* Seeing the prospective room(s) set for a wedding
* Trying the food
* Hearing the band (if included in package plan)
With luck, you will have narrowed it down to a few choice reception locations. Any more than this will result in some pretty hefty "dining out" bills. Then, call each banquet sales representative and ask when the next wedding is. If it's the wedding season, you should be lucky enough to view one that very Saturday. You will want to see the room half an hour before the arrival of guests. Please remember to dress nicely, as you will be placing yourself in areas where the reception party may see you, and it is wise to "fit in."

If you wish to try the food, ask if this can be done that same day or evening. You will most likely be asked to dine in the regular dining room. Arrange for a seating time that best accommodates the banquet chef.

The final step involves seeing the band you wish to consider. If you're in luck, it might be playing at that very same wedding reception. An ideal outing would go something like the following.
Approximately 40 minutes before the wedding guests arrive, drive into the parking lot of the banquet facility. Does there seem to be adequate parking? (Remember, you should be there right before a hundred or so cars descend upon the place.) Is the area well lit? If it's too soon to tell, you can check this out when you leave.

Approach the hotel or facility. Are the grounds maintained nicely? Enter the lobby. Is there a function directory board in clear sight, listing the day's social events? Does it appear to be set up well? Are words spelled correctly? Does the lobby look neat and clean?

Approach the front desk. Are the clerks nicely attired? Did they look up and smile at you, giving some appropriate greeting? Ask where the room is you're about to see (they don't have to know that you could have found it without asking). Was the clerk's response pleasantly put, or in a monotone? Keep in mind that such things will be your guests' first impressions.

Viewing the Banquet Room
You will want to know from your banquet sales rep beforehand if there is anything in the room that may not pertain to your reception setup (for example, did the bride provide her own centerpieces and/or cake? Did the bride request the room to be set in any particular way contrary to the facility's suggestions?). Don't ever walk away hating something the facility had no part in providing!

Approach the Banquet Room. Has the hallway rug been vacuumed? Check out the place card table. This should be just outside the . room, or directly inside. Is it skirted nicely, or clothed in a way that not too much of the steel legging shows? Is the linen crisp and clean? Are the cards arranged nicely? Is the guest book and pen in place?

Enter the Banquet Room. Is the lighting level attractive? (Note: if the banquet staff is still working on the room, the lights will most likely be set to full. You can see the appropriate lighting closer to the guests' arrival time.' The same thing goes for the floor. Vacuuming is often the last thing done, so allow time for these effects.)

The Head Table. Is it set in a focal position? Is it arrayed with fresh, crisp linen and skirted or clothed attractively? How are the napkins folded? Is the silverware and glassware clean and shiny? Do the banquet chairs look comfortable and does the upholstery appear to be free of rips and tears? Does there seem to be adequate spacing between chairs (not too far apart, but enough to allow for long, full skirts and, in particular, your wedding gown)?

Guest Tables. Pretty much the same questions apply. Make sure that the linen appears to be fresh and clean with attractively folded napkins. Some facilities set the head table with more ornate silver, so check various guest tables for the condition and appearance of the silverware. Are the water glasses clean and spot free? Check out a few banquet chairs for rips and tears in the upholstery. You don't have to pull the chairs out, just push aside the edge of the tablecloth. Try not to touch the table setups. If the silverware is clean and shiny on the top surface, you know it has to be completely clean.

Centerpieces. (If provided in the plan.) Are the flowers fresh? Does the arrangement seem suitable for the size of the table? And, most important, do they appeal to you?
The Cake Table. Has the cake table been placed in an area of the room in which it may be seen but not accidentally disturbed? Is the table skirted nicely? Studying the cake matters only if it is a package plan cake, or from a bakery you may have been referred to. Are the tiers balanced nicely? Has the decorating been done artistically and carefully? Remember that although you may not like that bride's particular choice in cake top, design, and color, the artistry of the work is what counts.

The Gift Table. As with any service table, has it been skirted or clothed nicely, hiding as much of the table's steel legging as possible? Oh, and one minor note: If there are gifts already placed on the gift table, especially gifts that appear to be in the form of money envelopes, do not come in close proximity of the gift table unless a facility representative is with you. I am not suggesting that you would be dishonest. But if anything is missing later, you would not want to become involved in the controversy.

The Bar. Without stepping behind the bar, take note of the brands of bottled liquor and beers available. And is the bar itself clean and polished, or spotty and sticky?

The Dance Floor. Ask the banquet sales rep beforehand how many this particular wedding is set up for, or count the number of guest tables and multiply by ten (as an average number of guests per table) and then add in the number of chairs at the head table. Now take in account the size of the dance floor. Walk around the dance floor itself. If it is a temporary parquet floor, do the pieces seem firmly linked together? And the edging — is it on securely? Does the surface seem safe for dancing? It shouldn't be too slippery for stocking feet. Bridesmaids always seem to take off their shoes at some point in the evening! Is the floor clean and uncluttered by dried chewing gum?

The Staff. By this time, the guests' arrival should be very near. Does everything seem under control? Keep in mind that things often happen beyond the waitstaff's control, so a little "running around in a panic" can be pretty normal. It also means that they care about how things look when the guests arrive. You will know by their attitudes whether or not they take pride in their work. You may or may not be able to judge the staff's attire completely at this moment. Often, jackets and bow ties are donned at the last minute.

The Reception Coordinator. You should notice this person going about the room making sure that everything is being set up as planned. Do not interrupt unless you have arranged to meet at this time. You may, however, make note of his or her efficiency and manner. But as far as attire, once again, if the reception coordinator doubles as the head waiter or waitress, it may be the last minute before you see the complete wardrobe. Don't worry — the bride and groom will not be greeted by someone in rolled-up sleeves with a towel tucked into a belt!

If you have the opportunity to introduce yourself to the reception coordinator, try to understand if he or she does not have a lot of time to speak with you. Keep in mind that on your wedding day this person will be thoroughly aware of your needs and desires, so it is professionalism and personality you are judging now. Even if he or she seems a little rattled at the moment, take into account the situation. More often than not, last-minute instructions, such as changes in the guest table arrangements or event scheduling, have been called in, and the coordinator may have only minutes to deal with it. You will have more opportunity to see him or her at work when the bridal party arrives.

At Reception Arrival Time
As soon as the first guests arrive, you and whomever you've brought along should leave the room promptly. At this time, you will probably see the lighting set at a lower, more "romantic" level.

If you are dealing with a facility that offers a package plan limo, position yourselves outside, a safe distance from the front door, where you will be able to observe the driver's actions arid courtesies in assisting the bride from the car. Be sure to note the driver's attire.

Then, after allowing the bridal party to pass, return to the lobby. Watch how the wedding party and guests are being greeted. You needn't feel awkward about being in the lobby, especially a hotel lobby. Any hotel guest who happens to be there is sure to pause and observe the beautiful bride.

The reception coordinator will most likely be gathering the bridal party for pictures. This is one area of the reception I do not suggest your trying to observe unless, pictures are being taken in a public area, such as a pretty section of the lobby. But in most cases, bridal party pictures are taken in a private room. And the key word here is private.

Instead, return to the area of the banquet room and observe the cocktail hour from the hallway. Because of the constant arrivals, the doors to the reception room should be left open for a while.
There will be approximately 45 minutes to one hour until the bridal party is finished with pictures and is ready to be announced into the room by the band (who should be setting up by now). Once you have seen enough, or sense you are in the way, you may want to go to the lobby or the cocktail lounge and discuss among yourselves what you have already observed.

If it is at all possible to watch the bridal party processional, do so, but only if you can place yourselves where you will definitely not be seen. By observing the processional, you will be able to judge the reception coordinator's manner in dealing with the bridal party. You may also be able to hear the band or DJ's presentation. This is one of the most important duties they will perform at the reception. A good band leader or DJ will always come out into the hallway, introduce himself or herself, and go over the pronunciation of names before announcing them to the guests.

After the Bridal Party Has Been Announced
Typically, the doors to the banquet room will be closed so that the best man's toast and the clergy member's blessing may be heard without undo interference. Then the meal begins. This will most likely be the time you will be trying your meal, as well.

When trying the food, note the appearance of the plate. Is it garnished nicely, or somewhat thrown together? Is the food temperature acceptable? And is the seasoning too much? Too little? Are the vegetables freshly cooked to perfection, or all too obviously out of a can? (Remember that the time of year plays a big part in what vegetables are best.) And, most important of all, does the food appeal to you?

If you are considering the band that is playing at that particular wedding, return to the area of the function room after your meal. You may have to wait a while until the conclusion of dinner (you may even find the band on break at this time) but it will be worth it. After the meal, you can judge the popularity of the band by how eager everyone is to dance. Listen for as long as you can, noting:
* Is the band offering a variety of music for everyone's tastes?
* How is their rapport with the room? Do they just go about the business of playing music, or do they communicate with the guests and, in particular, the bridal party? The true test is if they address the newlyweds by their first names or simply as "the bride" and "the groom?" With luck, you will be able to hear them handle one of the events such as the garter and bouquet toss. How is their presentation? Are they encouraging the guests to join in? Even though you can not (and should not) actually see them, what you hear will tell you all you need to know.

When leaving the facility, cheek out the lighting in the parking lot. Do you feel at ease? Are the parking spaces farthest away from the facility's front door well lit? What adjoins the parking lot? (For example, is the banquet facility next to woods or another business property?) You will want your departing guests to feel safe and secure. If you feel at all in doubt, ask if the facility has surveillance cameras or a security guard in the evenings.

Choosing the Winner
Once you have visited all the facilities that made the cut, you can at last make the final decision. Gather "The Powers That Be" and discuss each location in detail, noting what particular questions occurred to any of you during your visits. And, if at all possible, weed out the undesirable.

In the short time since your first initial interview with each function facility, certain questions may have come up that pertain to.your particular wedding. Now is the time to prepare a list of-these questions, as well. Of course, I can't predict what they may be/ but here's a sampling of concerns to resolve before handing over that initial deposit to the banquet facility of your choice:
* Your flower girl and ring bearer are both small children and very, very fussy about food. What can be done?
Many times, a banquet facility will offer special meals for little children such as hot dogs, hamburgers, or chicken fingers. If this is the case, you will most likely be able to pick one of these offerings for any small child attending your wedding, so ask. As long as you meet the minimum number required for package plan prices, you should not have to pay package plan prices for kiddies eating hot dogs, but make sure, just in case.
* Your Great Aunt Rosie wants to make an antipasto to serve with the meal.
Regardless of which relative and what food, most, if not all, of the facilities that prepare their own food do not allow edibles to be brought in from outside. The reason is simple: All food and beverage establishments are governed by stringent health codes for your benefit. These facilities deal with food purveyors they have known and trusted for years. Now, we all know that Rosie would never intentionally bring botulism to your wedding reception. But the utmost control must be exercised, especially when the health of you and your guests is concerned.
* The park downtown has a beautiful magnolia tree. And if it is in bloom at the time of your wedding, you'd love to have some outdoor pictures taken there.
Any pause for pictures en route from the church to the reception hall must be coordinated with your photographer and limo driver. If these are provided to you via a package plan, ask your sales rep what the policy is regarding any side trips for picture taking. You will need to provide an idea of how far off the beaten track this picture location is for the proper response. Don't just say, "Oh, a few minutes," when it is actually 20 miles away. *
* The best man's birthday happens to coincide with your wedding day. Could you hire a belly dancer to make a surprise visit?
Remember that although only the guests of your wedding will be in the function hall at that time, it is still a public facility, and certain entertainers — especially strippers — are not allowed to perform in public areas. Know your limitations.
* Instead of serving the wedding cake with dessert, you'd like to have it individually wrapped up and sent home with your guests. How is this done?
In most cases, you will be asked merely to supply cake boxes, napkins, or bags. Some facilities institute a nominal charge known as a cake-cutting fee for this service (if they're not charging you one already). Just make sure you know.
* You're having a completely traditional wedding and will be leaving by car at the conclusion of the reception. May the guests throw rice?

Even if the facility says "yes," your intuition should say no. Little birds cannot eat rice. It swells up in their bodies and kills them. Confetti is difficult to clean up. If such a tradition is important to you, and you are leaving before the reception is officially over, you may wish to provide little net wrappings of bird seed. In any case, the facility will most likely not allow your guests to throw anything inside, so birdseed is the kindest gesture.
However simple or silly your questions may seem, be sure to write them down. And with them, list the impressions and/or questions you accumulated during your second visit, when you saw the room set for a wedding and/or tasted the food.

Then call the facility or facilities (let's hope you're down to two at the most by this time!) and set up an appointment with your banquet sales rep. Do not, however, bring money with you unless you absolutely have to in order to secure the room. Deposits should be made only when you have accepted all the terms of a written contract!

For this appointment, bring along your fiance and your parents, if you can. When you reach that final decision, you may wish to have their approval. Just remember to ask all your questions, understand all the answers, and know to the fullest extent all the costs, fees, and policies you are being faced with.

For those of you who might not have the band, DJ, or the photographer of your choice at this point, you may want to ask what happens if you cannot find suitable services. Most facilities will allow you to transfer your deposit to another date without penalty, if done within a reasonable amount of time. Just realize that if you don't have either of these services, you must get on it right away!

Have you found the place of your dreams? You will know it by the strange combination of calm relief and exhilarating confidence that you feel.

Congratulations, bride-to-be! Ask for a typed confirmation or contract of all the details, a signed copy of which you will send back with the requested deposit.
You're on your way to a perfect wedding!