The Ettiquete of Re-Gifting

My first introduction to the act of re-gifting - when someone gives you a gift that was previously given to them as a gift - happened when I turned ten. My great aunt gave me a nicely wrapped box of Russell Stover chocolates that she had been given from my grandparents a month earlier for her birthday and had already eaten half of!

Obviously my great aunt was confused.

But, the reason behind re-gifting is not just confusion. Actually, many people re-gift and for quite varied reasons. Sometimes the giver cannot afford to buy a gift for an occasion and, therefore, rather then give nothing decides to re gift something of their own. Sometimes the giver is a penny pincher who saves gifts they receive and don't like to give to others - rather then just donate them to charity. Sometimes the giver is trying to unload an unsavory gift that was re-gifted to them on you! The reasons for re-gifting are infinite and not always deviant or "cheap," in fact they are often done with the best intentions.

But, if you are planning to re-gift - for whatever reason - make sure you do it right or else your re-gift could become someone else's re-gift and end up in a state of eternal re-gift limbo!

So, what are the proper rules of re-gifting?

1. Make sure you do not re-gift the original giver (can you imagine how embarrassing that would be!?) or anyone who was present when you received the gift (for example, my great aunt might have gotten away with the Russell Stover re-gift if she hadn't given the box to me when the people that gave them to her - my grandparents - were present AND hadn't already eaten half!)

2. Inspect each gift carefully before re-gifting! It is not re-gifting so much as "bad” or hasty re-gifting that is gauche. Common sense should tell you to absolutely not re-gift something that is broken or used! But, also be careful to look for less obvious signs of re-gifting that the recipient may notice, such as: expired dates on edibles; finger prints on bottles of wine or other glass gifts; perfume that smells rank because it is old; messages written in books; missing warranty cards; etc. Take the time you would have spent buying a gift to make sure the gift you are re-gifting is "safe!"

3. Do not give the gift in its original wrapping or box - which will probably show wear, tape marks, or even the original gift card/tag!

4. Only re-gift if you are sure the recipient will be pleased with the gift! You must be quite certain the gift will be a hit before you decide to re-gift. For example, for our wedding we received a gift that I knew was a re-gift because the giver broke rule #3 and left it in its original box. The box was quite worn and had old tape marks from where the original wrapping paper was taped. But, the giver totally followed rule #4 and knew I would love the gift - therefore I didn't mind that it was re-gifted!

The gift was a beautiful Lenox bowl she appreciated, but did not want when she received it for herself. She held onto it until the "right" recipient and occasion came along. Since the giver knows I collect Lenox and has been in my home enough times to know what I have and don't have in my collection, she knew I would love it and not try to return it to a place she doesn't even know where it came from! Trying to return a re-gift can be virtually impossible and can make the relationship between the giver and the recipient quite awkward. Therefore, it is crucial to only re-gift what you KNOW will be cherished by the recipient.

Of course, some people would never dream of re-gifting and that is fine. To some, re-gifting is bad luck or just plain "tacky." But, if you do it right, the same person who would never re-gift themselves, can be the happy and clueless recipient of a wonderful re-gifted treasure.