Somewhere in the planning, most bride-to-be’s, to some degree or another will go into emotional overload. This can include anything from crying every 20 minutes to screeching at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason. The upshot--completely normal.
Next to buying your first home (and other life-altering events), your wedding day is one of the single most stressful events in your life. The extremely calm and put together bride-to-be’s are the ones that scare me. Underneath that calm exterior is likely a bride ready to blow. No, the bride who is starting to come unglued is the one I trust….this is expected.
There are no surefire methods to stop this emotional train from jumping the tracks, but you can try to soften the crash. Many brides also work or go to school (or God forbid, go to school AND work) and the strain and pressure of trying to keep up with her job and/or her studies AND trying to plan the most important day in her life will eventually take an emotional toll. Some tips for trying to slow down this speeding train are as follows:
1) If you can afford it, hire a Wedding Coordinator or Consultant. These people are awesome. Some misconceptions of wedding coordinators is that they do ALL the wedding planning and take over. This isn’t true of most of them. To make sure you get someone who will work WITH you, interview a couple or ask other brides for their opinions. Wedding Coordinators should offer suggestions and do a great deal of the comparison shopping for you. Most established coordinators have a stable list of vendors and/or suppliers who offer them discounts for using their services--usually substantial savings that he/she can pass on to you. Most coordinators are worth every dime and well worth the peace of mind for the bride who is so busy she can’t plan her own wedding.
2) If you can’t afford a Coordinator, DELEGATE. Rally friends, family and anyone else who would be willing to help you out. Friends can check out reception halls, bridesmaid dresses, catering suppliers, and lots of other bridal necessities and weed out the riff-raff. It’s like having a lot of wedding coordinators for free. Once they have done a lot of the work of narrowing your choices, it will make it easier on you to make final decisions.
3) If you have access to the Internet, you could surf there for HOURS finding a lot of the things you need. There are literally hundreds of bridal sites. One of the larger perks is that most suppliers on-line offer deeper discounts for wedding accessories, invitations and other needs than buying things at bridal stores or invitation stores. UW has the largest “on-line wedding mall” of anyone around and you could buy most of what you need without ever leaving your chair.
I had a girlfriend, that, toward the last weeks before her wedding, every gift that arrived sent her to the floor in tears. Personally, I thought she was nuts, but I knew that the strain was starting to wear on her. Another suggestion: have all the wedding gifts and respond cards shipped to your mother’s, your Maid of Honor’s, anywhere but your house. Sometimes, just getting the wedding out of your face for awhile will help you pull yourself together.
Weddings are stressful and you won’t be able to avoid all of the stress that comes with it. Getting people to help or hiring a professional will go a long ways towards relieving some of it. On your wedding day, the only tears that should be shed are those of joy. This is my wish for your wedding day.
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