Ceremony Traditions And Personalization

Readings

Your officiant or church wedding coordinator may give you a selection of reading from which to choose, or you may from a wider range. Each of you should carefully read the choices you have and decide which fit the way you see you relationship. Some hit hard on traditional roles, and that may not be what you read at your wedding. Give readings some serious thought and discuss them with one another.


Wedding Vows

Give these a great deal of thought and consideration. Whether you will be permitted to alter standard vows or write you own vows or write you own will vary with you particular situation. They should be a statement for you goals together. Consider whether you want to use "man and wife" or "man and woman ".The first reflect a more subservient role for the woman. Discuss the vows with one another and with your officiant.

Gift of Flowers

Often flowers or a single rose are given to each of the mothers during the ceremony. This can be extended to include grandmothers and even godmothers if you desire. In the Roman Catholic church, some brides follow in front of a statue or picture of Mary.


Unity Candle

If you plan to include a unity candle, consider what you want to symbolize. The individual candles can be lit by the two of you, by your children from previous marriages. Once the center candle is lit. by the two of you, decide if the individual candles will remain lit or be blown out. This depends on what you want it to signify. Blowing them out can indicate that you have become one and leaving them lit can be a sign that even as you commit to becoming one, you still retain your individuality. It is something that could indicate some discussion between the two of you. You may also want to discuss it with your church wedding coordinator or officiant. If you choose to use a unity candle, you may purchase one or decorate you own center candle in a way that is significant to the two of you.


Communion

Whether Communion is a part of your ceremony, and whether it will involved just the couple, be open to all or be limited to members of your religion, will be a matter to be decided upon by the couple or your officiant. Find out in advance so that if Communion is limited, you can put a note in your ceremony program to let people know what to expect. Giving advance notice helps people feel more comfortable and it's a matter of courtesy. If you are having a non denominational Service, you may elect to have a breaking of bread and sharing of bread and wine in place of regular communion service. The use of bread and wine as wedding symbols goes back to ancient times.


Wedding Rings

Your may have a double ring ceremony or a single ring ceremony where only the bride receives a wedding ring. This is a matter for discussion between the two of you. Most of the time there is some sort of blessing for the wedding rings. You may talk to your officiant about whether or not you want to use the symbols of water as a part of this blessing or not. In a Jewish ceremony, the bride 's ring is placed on the index finger of her right hand. The ring is a symbol of wholeness, unity and eternity.


Blessings

Friends can get involved in the ceremony by writing out special blessings and reading them.


The Kiss

The exchange of the kiss between the bride and groom is the symbol of trust and a sign that the agreement has been sealed. For many guest, it is the highlight of the ceremony.