There are so many different ways to declare your wedding vows these days. There is, of course, the traditional vows, which many couples choose. But, for some couples, writing their own vows has become very important. While traditional vows go along the lines of the commitment you are making to each other, it doesn’t always reflect what each is feeling in their hearts.
There are many different categories of vows---non-traditional, 2nd marriages, “family vows” to include children coming into the marriage, vows for older couples, reaffirmation or renewal vows, religious variations, ring vows and vows from the classics such as Keats, Browning, Gibran and other classical poets or playwrights. The art to making your commitment your own is in having a particular passage “speak” to you in some way that helps you tell your intended what you are feeling and why this particular passage makes your intentions clear and heartfelt. Many couples choose to combine the traditional wedding vows and their own vows. Anything you do should be acceptable, however, it is always a good idea to check with whomever is officiating your wedding to make sure that they have no problems with the vows you have chosen. And don’t wait until the rehearsal to do this. Should your officiator have a problem with something, you don’t want to be up all night before your wedding thinking of something else.
There are many internet sites to get great ideas and samples of what to write or include for your own vows including a wonderful section right here.
If you do choose to write your own, always go over your vows with your fiance prior to the wedding. Some brides (or grooms) want to surprise their intended’s with their vows. The reason that surprise may not be a good thing is that you need to keep them in sync with each other. You writing something classic and inspiring from a Shakespearean sonnet and him writing the lyrics from the latest Rolling Stone song are going to sound a little odd. While that song may have “spoke” to him, tell him to get something else to speak to him. If he is “vow blocked”, maybe you could sit down together and go over some favorite poems, songs or other writings together and come up with something you both can live with. Tell him to simply write down what is in his heart. He might surprise himself.
A beautiful keepsake of your wedding would be to have your wedding vows printed on beautiful paper with a beautiful font and framed or, if you know someone handy at ceramics or know someone locally, have them hand painted on a ceramic keepsake “scroll” to put next to a favorite wedding photo in your home. This keepsake will always be a wonderful reminder of the vows you spoke to each other.
Wedding vows, in any form, are the words you speak, before friends and family, of the commitment you are about to make to each other. Whether you choose to stay with tradition, choose your own, or combine the two, your words will echo through your marriage for years to come. Make them beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment