How-To: Planning a Second Wedding

In the past, people felt a second marriage should be a small, discreet ceremony. Now society is more accepting of second marriages the bride and groom can plan the ceremony and reception that makes them happy. But what should the bride and groom consider for a second wedding?


Announcing the Engagement


It is perfectly acceptable for the second time bride to announce her engagement in the newspaper or to have an engagement party. The difference between a first time bride and a second is in timing. In many cases the bride and/or groom have children from a previous marriage. The engagement should be discussed with the children first before announcements to the public are made. Likewise if a person is close to an ex-spouse's family, they may wish to inform them personally before the engagement is officially announced.


Registering


Many second time couples wonder if they should register. Unless a couple has decided they don't want gifts, registering is perfectly acceptable. The difference may be in what the couple puts on their registry. They might not need towels, but do need new curtains. Or they might even register for remodeling items from the local building supply store. A honeymoon registry might be perfect for the second time couple as they likely already have most of the household items they need.


Fashion


Many second time brides wonder if they should wear white. The answer is, if the bride wants to wear white, she can! While society tends to associate white with virginity, it does not in tradition represent virginity. The beauty of marrying a second time is you don't have to wear white if you don't want to. (This holds true for a first time bride as well but many feel they must wear white.)


While the bride is free to choose whatever color and style feels right for them with the wedding gown, the second time bride should avoid a veil. Traditionally the veil represents virginity. Instead of a veil, a bride can use a gorgeous tiara or a fantastic hairstyle.


The Ceremony


There are many options for a second ceremony. Couples might be interested in doing something different from their first ceremonies. For instance, a couple might choose to do a destination wedding with family and close friends. Or they might choose to do a private ceremony with a big reception for everyone afterwards. The couple might also choose to get married in a sentimental spot, like the park where he proposed. A unique option for a second wedding is a surprise wedding. This is where family and friends are invited to a party for a birthday or holiday. Once everyone has arrived, the couple lets everyone know that it is really a wedding. And of course the happy couple can always choose a traditional ceremony. Whatever the choice, it should be one that both are happy with.


Children


Many second time couples have children from previous unions. Since the wedding is then really a marriage of families as well as the man and woman, some couples choose to include their children in the ceremony and festivities. If the children are older, they can act as honor attendants to the couple. Younger children can be flower girls or ring bearers or miniature brides and grooms. Other options for including children are having the child do a reading or if musically inclined, performing a song for the wedding.


To symbolize the new family, some couples choose to do a medallion ceremony as part of the wedding ceremony. This custom of giving children a medallion to commemorate the new family is a great way to make them feel like part of the ceremony and the new family.


At the reception, consider having the children walk in with you and your groom and have your MC announce you as a family. You could also seat the children at the head table. After you dance with your new husband, dance with the children before opening the dance floor to the guests.