Your wedding dress. Besides choosing the man whose eyes will glow with happiness when he sees you in it on your wedding day, this will undoubtedly be the second most important decision of your wedding. Your dress is a personal statement about who you are. Whether it is simple; historical; trendy; princessy; funky; Jackie O; or “Oh my, that is different!” your dress is a bold statement about the woman you are.
You may believe that once you have finally found bought your dress, the hardest part is done, however, if you are like most brides, it’s not. Even after the dress has been bought, you will most likely wonder if you made the right choice. If this happens, do not panic! It is a normal reaction.
In a poll of 45 brides I conducted on the wedding board, the majority had second thoughts about their wedding dress. Of the brides surveyed, 52% said after they purchased their dress they doubted their choice, but ultimately stuck with it. Only 22% of brides surveyed said they never doubted their original decision!
These numbers show that dress jitters are indeed normal. The jitters are usually compounded if you continue to look at bridal magazines after you buy your dress. Remember, dresses look completely different on your body then in a magazine. Although it is difficult, try not to look at other dresses after you have made your decision. If you do look at other dresses, do so only for fun and try not to compare them to yours. And, make sure you look at enough dresses before you make your decision that you will not have that nagging question, “Did I try on enough dresses or is my dream dress still out there?”
While most brides question their dress, but ultimately stick with it, 18% question and toss it. Before you take that leap, make sure you are not making a rash decision. Think through why you want a different dress, make a pro and con list about getting a different dress, and do not let other people influence your decision. I cannot stress enough that choosing your wedding gown must be your decision alone—if it is not, you will probably end up in the minority of brides who end up buying a second dress.
I was in this category and the reason was simple—I did not listen to myself. When I did my original dress hunting, I brought along my mothers, sisters, and best friend. Every time I came out of the dressing room I based my feeling about the dress I had on by the look on their faces! This ended up confusing me and I settled on a dress that the majority of my loved ones liked, but I just felt “so so” about. I never had that magical feeling that the dress I bought was my dress. I did not even believe that such a feeling existed – but it does!
When you find your dress you will feel it—a lot like love, it is hard to articulate, but the feeling exists. You may get butterflies in your stomach or just an overwhelming calm that indeed this dress was made for you! I read about the feeling in posts from other brides and knew I was missing something, because I never felt it. After spending quite a bit of time thinking about my decision and actually getting sick over it, I went dress hunting again—alone. When I finally saw my dress and put it on, I had this amazing feeling other brides described. I bought the dress on the spot. Sure, after I bought my second dress I had a doubt every once in a while like, “Is a tulle dress really appropriate for an outdoor reception?” but I knew in my heart this was the dress for me because I didn’t care what the answers to my questions were. And that is the key.
If you are having serious doubts about your dress—to the extent you cannot sleep, are have nightmares about it, or feel sick to your stomach when you think about wearing it—I highly suggest you go out alone to try on dresses alone. If you just occasionally question whether you made the right choice—you most likely did.
Good luck and remember, second thoughts are normal when it comes to your dress! When it comes to your future husband, that’s a whole different story!
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