Who Are You Inviting?

Putting together your guest list can be one of the most exciting planning responsibilities for your wedding. It can also be one of the most difficult if you are limiting the number of family and friends you can invite.


First draw up a preliminary list of everyone that you can imagine inviting to your wedding. Make sure to include both names of a couple and any children so that when the list is completed, you can do an accurate head count. Also get complete lists from your parents, your fiancé, and your future in-laws of the people they want to invite.


Type these lists into a computer if you can. This will make it easier to make changes later on. A computer file will help create address lists when you get ready for them. Your final invitation list will be useful in keeping track of RSVP’s, gifts, and thank you notes.


After completing your master guest list of would be guests, take a count of the number of people you have on the list. Some of the largest costs of a wedding are due to the number of people invited. You have not invited anyone yet. So if you are going to have budget limitations, decide whether you want a large wedding with a more modest reception than you thought about originally, or have fewer guests and offer them the best.


These kinds of choices are difficult for most couples to make. Deciding who would want to come, who should come, who would be able to come, and who would take offense if they were not invited can be a painful process if you have to limit the number of guests to invite just because of budget or space limitations. Just remember, if someone is truly a friend or truly loves you, he or she will understand why you have limits, and will not be upset with you for them not being invited.


Of course you can take into account that not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. Some people will have prior engagements, others may not be able to travel if they live far away, someone could have something happen or get sick at the last minute, and so on. When my cousin was planning her wedding, my children were to be the ring bearer and flowergirl and I was supposed to light a memory candle for her mother. Unfortunately, just a few days before the wedding, my son came down with the chicken pox, then the day before the wedding, my daughter started breaking out. I would have attended anyway, but we live 12 hours away and I could not leave my kids with anyone at this point. So believe me, things do happen to people at the last minute that causes them to not be able to do as they promised.


Some things to decide on and be cautious of are:


· Even if they live far away, weddings give people the excuse to travel.


· Are you going to allow your single friends to bring dates?


· Are you going to let parents bring their children? If you do not want children to attend, then have “No Children” or “No Children Under 10 Years of Age” or whatever age limit you set, printed at the bottom left-hand corner.


Now prepare your final guest list. Be firm and prepare a honest, but sincere response for those who might have the bad manners to ask if you are going to invite them or not.


It is a nice gesture, however, to invite the officiant and his or her partner to the reception. Also, just as a reminder, do not forget to include the wedding attendants in your guest count. They will be a the reception also.