Questions to Ask Your Officiant

The ceremony is the most important part of your wedding day. After all, that's why you're stressing about centerpieces and head counts in the first place. With just a little preparation, you can be sure your officiant shares your wedding vision.

• Is s/he available on the day you've chosen, at the time you'd prefer?
  
  This is, of course, crucial.
  
  
• Can the officiant travel to the site?
  
  This is especially important if you're planning an outdoor wedding, or one in a special location like a private home or on the beach.
  
  
• How long has s/he been performing wedding ceremonies?
  
  You might also ask if there are other recently-married couples you can contact for advice, etc.
  
  
• What are the fees? What is included?
  
  Some items might include the officiant's services, use of the site, set-up and clean-up, candelabra and other decorations, program printing, musicians and/or pre-marital counseling. These may be included in one fee, or may be separate.
  
  
• What type of pre-marital counseling is required, if any?
  
  Requirements vary greatly, and can be anything from a meeting with the officiant, to a series of counseling sessions, to a weekend retreat with other engaged couples.
  
  
• Does s/he have a standard ceremony? What variations can be made?
  
  Ask if a sample ceremony is available for you to use as a guide. If you have any special verses, readings or music you would like to include in the ceremony, be sure they are acceptable to the officiant. Some churches, for example, prohibit secular music.
  
  
• How long does the ceremony usually last?
  
  This is useful when making decisions about the reception, photographer, limousine and receiving lines.
  
  
• What has worked for couples in the past?
  
  If your officiant is experienced, s/he will be able to make helpful suggestions about readings, vows, music selections and even the logistics of the wedding day.
  
  
• Will s/he be available to answer questions or give advice?
  
  Make sure you have telephone numbers, office hours and other contact information.
  
  
• Can you tour the ceremony site?
  
  You wouldn't buy a house without walking through it, so make sure you get to see the actual place the ceremony will occur. Make mental notes on the size, accessibility, and generally get a feel for the space.
  
  
• How early can you be at the site, and what's the latest you can leave?
  
  You may wish to decorate the site before the ceremony, or stay afterwards for pictures. Be sure you will have enough time for all you wish to do.
  
  
• Is there a place you can get ready before the ceremony?
  
  Even if you don't plan on dressing at the ceremony site, it's helpful to have a private room, maybe with a mirror for touching up your makeup and hair at the last minute.
  
  
• Is there a place parents can take their children during the ceremony?
  
  Kids can be restless and noisy, and having a nursery or special room available can make your ceremony more enjoyable for everyone.
  
  
• Will you be able to have a photographer and/or videographer present during the ceremony?
  
  
• Are there any special restrictions?
  
  Some sites do not allow guests to throw bird seed, others prohibit flash photography. Be sure it's clear what is allowed and what is not.
  
  
• When does the rehearsal take place? Will s/he be present?
  
  
• Does s/he have any suggestions on vendors? When you deal with weddings frequently, you meet good florists and see the bad photographers in action.