Substitution For Unity Candle Lighting

A beautiful way to make your wedding ceremony unique is to include “The Blessing of the Hands.” My husband and I used the Blessing in place of the Unity Candle lighting at our Catholic ceremony because we wanted something different and more meaningful to us. Also, our mothers were too nervous to participate in a Unity Candle lighting—preferring instead to watch the entire ceremony from their pews. That turned out to be a very good idea, because they were both very emotional on "the big day" as it was.

We first learned of this blessing during our Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend. At the conclusion of the weekend retreat, the priest who guided us through Engaged Encounter did this blessing on the hands of all couples. There was not a dry eye in the sanctuary and we, along with most other couples there, found it to be the most moving and defining part of our Engaged Encounter weekend. It truly was the moment I knew with one hundred percent confidence that indeed, the hands I was holding during the Blessing were the hands I wanted to hold for the rest of my life.

We were so moved by the blessing that we wanted to incorporate it into our wedding. While the Blessing of the Hands is not a “typical” part of a Catholic wedding ceremony, our priest (who had never seen the Blessing until we gave him a copy) also loved it. He was very willing, at our request, to substitute it in place of the Unity Candle portion of the ceremony. At the reception many guests told us what a powerful and moving part of the ceremony the Blessing of the Hands was. We also included the words to the Blessing in our ceremony’s program.

Blessing of the Hands
Courtesy of Engaged Encounter of Rochester, NY

_______, please turn and face____, and hold his hands palms up, where you can see the gift that they are to you.

These are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that hold yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.

These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within your womb.

These are the hands that look so large and clumsy, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.

These are the hands that will work long hours to earn money for you and your family.

These are the hands that will be nicked and bruised from fixing things around the house to make you more comfortable.

These are the hands that will caress your body through the years, to make the passion of love come alive in you.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief rack your mind.

These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your check as they raise your face to look into his eyes; eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.

____, please face _______, hold her palms up, so you may see the gift they are to you.

These are the hands hold yours on your wedding day as she gives you her pledge to love you, and accepts your ring.

These are the hands that are smooth and young and carefree now, but will be lined and rougher, working to make you comfortable.

These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness, disciplining them when naughty, and wringing themselves in worry when trouble comes.

These are the hands that will hold your face and wipe tears from your eyes – in wonder and awe that you would cry for her.

These are the hands that will hold you in joy, excitement and hope each time she tells you that you are to have another child; that together you have created a new life.

Perhaps these are the hands that will comfort you when you are told you cannot have a child, and will convince you that together you will create a new life in other ways.

These are the hands that through the years will caress your body in the passion of love, to enhance your intimacy.

These are the hands that will enter the Sacrament of Matrimony. These four hands will be your armor and shield against the evils and temptations of the world.

These are the hands that will reach out, first to each other, then united, will spread your love and your sacrament to all they touch.

These are the hands that will ease your parents’ loneliness as you leave the nest, will first teach your own children the marvels of married life, and will be a sign to friends and strangers alike as to just how wonderful married life can be.

Through these four hands, God will renew His Church. These hands are the hope of a troubled humanity. These are the hands that will change the world.